Nifty noodles/Gospel Mission
4/25/02
Thursday
Orange County Rescue Mission
I was way down yesterday. Faith is a small boat in a raging sea. Temptation are the waves that threaten to swamp it. I make one oar stroke at a time, in the slowest mode of transportation known to man. At night I went to the Orange County Rescue Mission. Set up a little beat box and played to seventy men down on their luck. Alcoholics mostly.

I stood in the room without a microphone and opened with "I've learned a lesson and I've learned it well... Life don't get easier in the long run..." And I was understood. Then came "have you ever been lied to?... Thought to be something that you just can't be... Where's the love you need?" and I was understood. I went through all the most meaningful songs I've ever written in depression. And I was understood. Finally I went over to an old out of tune piano with keys missing and I hammered out a new tune...

I have never tried so hard to have a heart someone could love... Never could you understood and loved me anyway.

I have never lied so much to play the part of someone good... But I never could, you understood and loved me anyway.

Jesus sees me as I am and he takes me by the hand and says I love you anyway... I love you anyway... I'm so thankful Jesus loves me anyway.

No matter how I fail... Your love for me's still real Now I can start all over once again...

And I am never down so far That you can't rescue me once more... A brand new start, my broken heart Will love you anyway

I got a standing ovation... It was the message! not the messenger! And in giving myself away to these men... I received back ten fold. I wasn't there to do my part for humanity I told 'em I'm here because I feel most comfortable with men who know pain all too well. You guys give me strength that I don't have right now.

I didn't sell a record but I made an impact and I felt more useful and fulfilled than I have in some time.

I'm at a fork in the road for me, still one choice at a time. I'm standing still looking at a row of doors waiting for the one God opens today... I'm sure too that as I walk through there will be another door to wait for.

The key to being reasonably happy is to give myself away in service while I'm in the room I'm in... Even if there's no furniture.

I'm bryan d, Thanks for lettin me share!

Nifty noodles/Take It to The Limit
4/22/02
(about Seekers Coffee House)
Had this great little conversation with God Sunday night..."we went for a walk in the evening, he said I can't help but notice you're blue" I confessed my fatigue as I'm out of shape these days... I mentioned the fears I have about my future and suggested that he hasn't been very forthcoming about any plans!

First thing he said to me? "you know, you and Samson are a lot alike"... Talking about him like we travel in the same circles. "(King) David was pretty moody in his day as well... He was "bipolar" before the term was invented"... "I like him though, I was always his 'medication' ". God was talking to me like we were just having coffee!

That is a relatively new experience for me in all these years. I've had some coffee too this weekend... If you could get hammered on coffee I'd have been there this weekend.

I played 36 songs over two shows and three hours! It's been a long time since I've done even one whole show! Toward the end of the second show I was getting pretty mellow... The screaming was knocking me out. We blew a fuse after just a couple songs on the first set so they wanted me to stall till they fixed it... So I took a chance and played a new song I finished this week. It's unlike anything I've written before. I hadn't intended to sing it myself either. It was just kind of an attempt at a worship song. It's called "Jesus Loves me anyway". Even without lyrics in front of me I played and sang it almost perfect for the first time...

"I have never tried so hard, to have a heart someone could love... Never could, you understood... And loved me anyway" the verse goes Then the chorus changes, addressing the audience "Jesus sees me as I am/ and he takes me by the hand/ says I love you anyway/ I love you anyway/ I'm so thankful Jesus loves me anyway" As you can see it's not like anything I've ever written. The melody makes the simple lyric believable. Some people were asking for it at the back table too... "I just wrote that yesterday" I said. They thought I was joking.

I also sang "America The Beautiful", "Traces of Heaven", "Heart Like Mine", and "Love Takes Time" Oh and "Mr Bailey's Daughter" tunes I haven't done in many many months. I had two requests for "Left Behind" ... "the band doesn't know that one" I said.... But I think I disappointed a couple of folks. The sound wasn't as pure this time around... We had a cheesie reverb and I wasn't enjoying the sound of my own music but I was happy to be playing and I gave it my best...I was gonna ask God what David's music was like...and his voice but I thought "No I'd be comparing".

O.K. So there's that ! bryan d

Nifty noodles/Standing Still
4/14/02
Riverside, CA
Sunday
My life has slowed down remarkably. I didn't realize how loud God was screaming until it got quiet around me. I was home this weekend ... Nearly dying of boredom. I was up early to sing at a little church in Diamond Bar... Church in the Valley, which by the way was up a hill! I sang there as a favor cause some friends go there, but I enjoyed singing as always. I've been reading and praying a lot lately... I was sure it would show in my presentation, but I was my usual self on stage. Spiritually I'm being reworked and I'm feeling kind of hollow.

I'm reading a great book by Mike Yaconelli called Messy Spirituality. He quotes today from one Robert Capon (paraphrasing) "The church has had a poor record of encouraging freedom, spending so much time instilling in us the fear of making mistakes that she has made us like ill taught piano students: We play our songs, but we never hear them because our main concern is not to make music but to avoid some flub that will get us in big trouble" I had to smile. The book isn't for everybody but it's encouraging to me... I'm reading it and I'm relearning to play the piano.

O.K. So there's that Bryan D

Nifty noodles/Today and soon
4/11/02

I told you of meeting Reverend Leon's Revival in Denver on Easter. A band that does covers of old gospel tunes. Well we're planning a little gig that will be maybe the coolest thing I've ever done. On Sunday June 2nd I'm gonna open a show at the Soiled Dove in down town Denver. A thirty minute run of my own favorite tunes. Reverend Leon's Revival will follow that with an entire 50 minutes and then they will join me for six of my songs and we will wrap up the gig with two or three old gospel standards like "I saw the light" or "what a friend we have in Jesus" and "Amazing Grace"

I must say this is the coolest idea I never had! Chances are we might do two nights. It's the first time in many years that I've actually seen something as pure fun and pure gospel outreach.

O.K. So there's That! bryan d

Nifty noodles/Spring Forward
4/7/02
New Port Richie, FL
Nothing like springing forward and losing three hours as well flying to Florida. Four services four songs each. This is where Maybe I'm Amazed works wonders... Cause it's three songs in one. The choir sung this with me without an ounce of rehearsal other than hearing the record before I got here. It sounded great. I had one of those senior moments during "If You Pray for me" .. Every time I went to the fourth chord of the verse I couldn't remember the chord. So I messed that one up. But my voice was strong especially sense it was 4: a.m. my time when the first service started... Chalk it up to another "Easter Sunrise"

Did a Saturday night service too and was finished by eight P.M. with nothing else to do. We were at a little hotel with a cheesie lounge and a cheesier band. The rooms are lined up where the doors open right out on the street. It was a sweet summer-like night with a soft breeze. Across the street was a McDonalds next to a strip club in a strip mall, yea, it was that side of town.

My sound man and I sat poolside in the dark and counted stars for an hour and talked about how God works and doesn't fill us in on the details. Other than that the down time got really long for me... If I don't get to do a few full concerts soon.. I'm gonna start looking for other work... This is just not fulfilling. I'm a side show at the church service. They really don't need my help here either. The music is great already. Don't get me wrong I did very well and I fit in to a worship service that gets pretty loud.

I fell asleep sitting up at the airport and slept the whole way back to L.A., getting in around midnight. The flight was so rough that it knocked most of the "floatation devices" out from under the seats.

The highlight this weekend was our "limo" driver. Freddie Mack, a retired New York City cop, had stories off the streets of New York that should be in a book somewhere. He knew more jokes than a comedian. He had that rough cut New York accent and attitude except he's found a personal relationship with Jesus and quit drinking. It's good to know that he hasn't turned into somebody else though. You can see God's "stamp" on him... But he's still a New Yorker. He gave me a CD copy of the up close pictures of ground zero just days after the mess. He still carries a torch for the City and speaks proudly of his time there.

God is good and I like the people he's made sometimes... I can see his pleasure is redeeming them and leaving just a trace of where they've been! It makes 'em interesting. Like the pastor too, He's genuinely happy, stays upbeat, speaks in tongues openly, recovered from a life of alcohol fourteen years ago. The choir members sing with expressions of joy looking upward like each was the only one singing to God at that moment. Then there were the large numbers of "Heaven's Saints", a motorcycle club that sits mid sanctuary at the early services. The parking lot looking like a Harley Davidson bike show.

Large numbers of Florida's main ingredient... Old people! sitting right in front of the bikers... Only God could put a group together like this. And then add one lunatic from California to sing for 'em.

O.K. So there's that ... Bryan d

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