Nifty Noodles/ Therapy on Jezebel
4/29/07 Sunday…Lake Havasu City, AZ
Just discovered I don’t know how to spell Presbyterian! I was invited to come sing for the Community Presbyterian Church in Lake Havasu. The pastor and his wife (dave and Heidi) had seen the concert I did here last year at the High School auditorium. They’ve been here for three years out from the Midwest… “so you picked Lake Havasu for what reason?” I asked… “I was looking for a challenge” Dave said.

Havasu is party town central and part of what’s simply known in California as “the River”! this is not where people come to contemplate the wonder’s of knowing Christ! (Even though it does look like where Jesus and Moses might have spent a lot of time.)

I of course seize any opportunity to Ride my Motorcycle to an event.

This was my first trip out of state with Jezebel and she handles the long desert ride in fine style. My friend James Bowles went with me last minute and it felt like swimming up stream as thousands of bikers were headed back to California after the big Laughlin Rally this weekend.. Kenny Metcalf, who rode with me last year went to the Laughlin event as a vendor and told me there were between 70 and 100 thousand motorcycles there.

Now I like getting together with a few bikers but that many bikes seems like flies on trash.. no place to park. Sunday afternoon at the state line there were at least a thousand bikes at Vidal Junction… a crossroads with one gas station and a breakfast shack where we choose to eat comin and goin from the event.

Community Prez is way up on the hill and home church to a lot of retired folks mostly. The schedule changes for services around summer time when the heat gets really unbearable and the snow bird community finds new shelter. So attendance fluctuates in radical fashion.

I almost forgot this was Sunday night and closer to a regular church service than a concert. Three people walked out after the first song… too loud they said… one elderly man had no problem standing in the middle of the congregation to shout..”it’s just too loud… we can’t hear”…See now there’s the real problem perhaps. I changed gears to a mellow choice of tunes… I had led off with “I’m still dancing” which I thought would be appreciated by an older crowd.. and most did I think.. but it warmed up when I left the boogie music in the basement and launched into a softer delivery.

Eventually found myself speaking more directly to what has been on my heart lately.. about knowing God and why.. and realizing that abuse at the hands of other’s is kind of a normal setting for most of us. I had prayed earlier with Dave and Heidi that we would see something different in our own efforts…. A new perspective… “help us not do the same things over and over again” I prayed… “well things were different and maybe a little uncomfortable tonight .. but then we did ask for something new…” I told the pastor .. when you ask for something “out of the box” I don’t think yer really prepared for your own reaction to the event.

It was hard to not hear ‘the voices” in my head..as I was singing… wondering about why God puts me where he does…didn’t quite know what to say to retired folks… I suddenly feel as if they might know something around the bend that I haven’t discovered frankly.. cause I know what it’s like for me to look upon the conversations of a younger generation… and think.. “man have you got a rude awakening coming”…

I will not over look the people in front of me ever… but That said… I question God sometimes as I did on the ride home… that I would not find an open door to 70,ooo bikers at a Rally an hour south and God would lead me to a hundred people closer to meeting Christ for themselves…”my music would go over great at a bike event” I told God and here I am getting flak for the volume”…”am I in the wrong place?” I thought… “is it my lack of vision? “ I know Jesus spoke to those with “ears to hear”.. and maybe he knows something more about where folks are at .. and maybe me too “am I closer to retired folks than partier’s ? “ I prayed… “would it just be too hard to play for an inebriated audience… ?” “am I playin it too safe?” “am I ungrateful for the task God puts’ before me now?”…am I trying to bloom where I’m not planted? This is what riding Jezebel through the desert allows me to work through with God.

I know I can’t do an event without the help of others in a local area… I guess it’s part of looking for a challenge.

Bottom line is the highlight of the weekend for me was taking the pastor’s nine year old daughter on a short motorcycle ride around the block under the moon and stars and listening to her squeal with delight. You can feel the wind through your hair in Arizona cause you don’t have to wear a helmet!

Monday morning was so fine in the sun by seven a.m. I thought of turning my bike north to Utah and then east to Colorado.. I miss a home I used to know.. it’s not there anymore… familiar surroundings… knowing exactly what to do when I get there… Crossing the Colorado River was like crossing the Jordan this morning…guess I was really hoping for the parting of the red sea… nothing is like it used to be.. but then I did ask for something new from God didn’t I?... Thanks for answerin my prayer… now help me find the joy in that answer!

O.k. so there’s that… Bryan D

Nifty Noodles/ Unexpected Gift?
West Coast Office/ Riverside California 4/26/07….Thursday…
Woke up this morning aware of my dream of the moment of death… it was an uncomfortable look…In the dream I was surprised at the timing of the end of my life… questioning…”really..? now? .. can anybody hold my hand?” I asked… “this is something you have to do alone” a messenger said… I woke up unnerved.. thinking about my grandparents.. all passed away… and through the day I was missing my grandmother who died last year and I was missing the chance to go back to her house in Colorado…then on my motorcycle running errands… I caught the smell of the earth on the wind today and instantly recognized a memory of standing in my grandmother’s driveway and a feeling not like any other I’ve had in my life…the smell and feeling of HOME….

I spent most of today catching up on songwriting and listening to music of the Williams Brother’s… lookin for songs for radio rehab show number 45…and some how the presence of God just seemed to be all over me… you know I don’t talk like this ever….i can’t really explain why he was so “present” I was not working at a conscious contact with God… but I went back and listened to show number 35 on radio rehab about gratitude to see if I’d used a particular song before… and every song spoke so directly to my heart….. in a way I didn’t hear the first time I put the show together… O.k. now I was getting a little uncomfortable with the waves of emotion … tears were coming to my eyes… the way cutting onions brings em… I was not conjuring up some kind of emotional experience..

It was like true worship! … my own words on the show were penetrating my soul… later… after running a few errands I came back and fanned t.v. stations on a break from work.. stopped on the movie “City of Angels” and once again I felt this shudder of an angelic touch and a real sense of power in my little office… it wasn’t about what God was gonna do about anything…. it was simply about the fact that he was there… I can’t say I’ve ever felt anything like this before… found myself weeping…and overcome with a gratitude reminiscent of my conversion experience.

O.k. maybe I’m exhausted … more so than I might think… but these feelings were not depressing.. they were euphoric and I wondered finally.. how come I’ve never been able to put this feeling in a song… really… I’ve never written anything close to the way this feels… God stopped by my house today… and he just stayed all day long! … “don’t tell anybody this happened to you” I thought as I got in the shower around six p.m. “ you’ll look like the people you’ve resented all these years” … I had to smile at my own determination to stay in a cynical club for those of us who’ve spent the majority of our lives struggling to find a real faith in God without feeling his presence much..

Don’t know what else to say about today… except that life seems very precious in the moment more than the future plans… breath taking and beautiful for no particular reason… you gotta know I’m not on medications of any kind and I haven’t been drinking… don’t know what this is today… …… I know…. It’s a gift! ,,,,,,An unexpected GIFT!

O.k. so there’s That… and I hope it comes again! Bryan D

Nifty Noodles/ GMA
Nashville (frankenville) TN 4/21/07 Gospel Music “preweek end”..
“just a long series of awkward conversations” one artist stated as she walked out of the lobby at the Renaissance Hotel in down town Nashville. “I’ve been coming here to this lobby for nearly thirty years” I told her..”it’s starting to feel like Ground Hog Day”.

The NehoSoul band convenes to be seen every year around this time.. and we were busier than I ever was in the hey days… there’s more scrambling to be done these days! Saturday we played for a Baptist Church in Franklin Tenn. On a stage set up in the parking lot. “we played mostly to a lot of Buick’s” I told Brian Mason on Sunday’s morning radio show… it’s Music City apathy here.. more bands and songwriters here than anywhere in the country I think… and they’ve heard it all. I did hear a great new band at this event myself called “Mike’s Chair” … watched their violin player do a back flip on the stage during his solo! They’re Young! 8) I’m just happy to reach for the mic…

So… small crowd but never the less it was a chance to “present” the new nehosoul music on stage and get a feel for how it plays forward. Sunday afternoon after two radio interviews in the morning, NehoSoul Band reassembled at a club in Nashville for another showcase at Rocket Town in downtown Nashville. It was a beautiful sunny Sunday by one oclock and again the turn out was dismal.

You gotta remember though in Nashville it’s not the size of the audience… it’s who’s in it that will have an effect. And here there were some radio promotion folks and promoters from around the world. The only disaster for us at this event was our first presentation of my first recorded love song…”don’t leave me in the Dark”… it’s a sultry little soul number and in a moment of insanity Phil Curry started the song in the key of E instead of A… almost a half octave out of the comfort zone for my voice.. but I sang it anyway.. and it turned into more of a screaming match than a love song… which might be an appropriate reality to love relationships! 8)…One things for sure the comments were “wow you still have the vocal chops”… I was knifing vocals I haven’t hit in a decade on that one.

I don’t stress about GMA the way I did years ago… it’s just another week in the life of a struggling musician… might find some alliances here but who knows. Still gotta do what you love whether anybody joins you or not… I did find time to pick an appropriate key for another new song with Phil Curry called “things you bring” and we got to talk about the final production problems on the current recording project… hoping to finish this by the end of the year.

I played Sam and Phil and Ricky B a song we’re thinking about covering from an old friend Vince Ebo called “Make it Work” as it fits well with the recovery direction of “Surprise”. Sadly Vince committed suicide sometime after the recording of that song.. a reminder that “it works only if you work it”. (you can hear Vince’s version on Radio Rehab show number 44.. last song on the show)

That said I spent a lot of time with a small recorder collecting comments for the troops in Iraq as I stood in the lobby with people from all over the country. I am putting together some personal “thank you’s “ from those of us who enjoy the freedom to do what we love because of the sacrifices of men and women in the service out there protecting and serving. Now that we have a voice on the air in Al Asad Iraq I thought about what I might add to the presentation in the way of personal encouragement.

Monday night 4/22/07 Café Forte in Nashville.

I foolishly agreed to more events than I could cover on Monday night.. scheduled five events at four locations in three and a half hours.. well I missed two of em! A duet with Allen Ashby called “I’m Forgiven” at the Global Café’ on Broadway in Nashville at eleven p.m.

And another one with Kevin Max and Roseanne Cash at BB King’s on a Johnny Cash tune called “God’s gonna strike you down” at 10:30 p.m ! (that’s when I was supposed to sing not when God was gonna strike me btw… 8) I spent Tuesday morning apologizing on the phone for that…hope God doesn’t strike me down and I hope “I’m Forgiven”…

Gig’s I actually made: an 8:30 event at “FUEL” a music club on 2nd ave, and a showcase for Streetlevel artist’s most of which I’ve never met by the way.. “Road To Rome” and “Charmaine” were in front of my two song delivery.. just me and a piano… no real pressure here.. I opened with “don’t help the devil” and closed with “If You Pray for me” .. both seemed appropriate for the insanity of GMA week!

I was surprised to hear applause with the opening chords of the last song in a recognition of the song as if they’d heard it before and liked it. Glad handed Randy Stonehill and Phil Keaggy on the way out the door to a waiting car and headed across the freeway to Edge Hill Studio Café’ the coffee house where NehoSoul was headlining “Café Forte” the Monday night local musician event.

Neho Soul was at it’s best except that “porkpie” (walter finch) wasn’t with us. Now this place was packed and hot and sweaty. Just the place for our music… it sounds better I think when the air isn’t moving around alot. We were almost thirty minutes late getting on stage which contributed to the missed events afterward… I didn’t miss them too much though cause this gig is why I was here. We played an hour and a half and everything was in the right key and well received for a change. I was euphoric!

The real honor was in seeing the awesome array of talent sitting in the front row listenin to every tune…Ox Fox and Tim Gaines from Stryper fame…as well as Les Carlson and others members of the band Bloodgood and players from Richard Marx Band and killer vocalist Michael Wastman (who sings bgv’s on “I love you so” on the surprise record) Also Morten Strand and his staff from the Seaside Festival in Norway were in attendance… “we want you guys back next summer” Morten said afterward.

I would guess that 80 % of the packed house was made up of musicians and industry people who would only come out for what they really loved personally and that kind of response is better than a Dove Award any day… to be applauded by your peers in the same line of work! No political agenda here. ”do what you love”.. I admonished in the fade of the last song… “don’t get distracted by the politics… you’ll be happier at the end of your life”…

After our set I joined Heather Powers on a tune a cowrote with her called “little bit of Heaven” very reminiscent of “peaches and herb” duets and a wonderful song. This was a night to remember in the long history of GMA… better than anything I’ve done in Nashville.. sang the songs I wanted to and catered to no other agenda! 8)… I flew home with the memory of a standing ovation for songs from the present and a determination to pursue new definitions for the future…

O.k. so there’s most of That! Bryan D

Nifty Noodles/ Birthday, "InCluted"
4/14/07 Freeport,
Texas…actually I stayed in a town called “Clute”…it’s within five miles of the end of the earth… nothing but chemical facilities all around next to the gulf ports of Texas.

I’ve entered a new world this weekend doing a surprise birthday party for a long time fan and pastor of the Freeport Assembly of God Church. Donald Gibson doesn’t look forty and his church is a small gathering of twenty and seventy year olds it seems… a rare collection of folks really… they are enthusiastic and not at all in the mold of the standard AG church… what a relief!

The party was elaborate thanks to his wife’s effort…”I’ll probably have to take back what you get me” Donald said at one point about his birthday present.. thinking she’d get him Golf Clubs.. “yes you will have to take it back” says his wife.. knowing that he will have to take me back to the airport afterward.

They presented him with a gift and as he opened it.. one of his favorite songs…“love takes time” was played over the sound system and I walked on and added my live voice over the track… surprise! He tear’d up in a couple of songs I presented in the following concert. And later he told me all that he’d been through as he’d listened to my songs over the years of ministry. “it’s normal ‘Service battle fatigue” I told him.. “when we signed up for the calling we weren’t counting on the amount of treatment it would take to recover”.

Serving other people in ministry comes with a few scares in the process.. It’s unavoidable… there’s gonna be a few “D-Days” and some beaches to crawl off of and yer gonna bleed sometime…it might even be ‘friendly fire’ that wounds you… but don’t lose sight of the medic! 8)…

I had some moments of my own this weekend reading the Recovery Bible in my alone hours at the hotel. I felt a sweet sadness about playing songs for the memories of years gone by from someone else’s life… I felt like a memory too… like I wasn’t still here.. the ghost of CCM past… proud now to have survived but… hey I’m still livin… as far as I know…

Jeremiah 29:11 is quoted a lot to me lately….“I know the plans I have for you..says the lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” … so I looked it up again.. and read in front of the verse so as not to take it out of context…

What it says starting in verse 4 is that “you are gonna be in the captivity of Babylon for seventy years and then I will give you what I’ve promised”… well wait a minute…good plans coming? yes.. but in the mean time yer gonna have to settle in Babylon and do the best you can cause God has another agenda goin on… that’s what I read! He’s talking to his people in their exile!!!... I can relate to that right now…

The recovery bible says at one point.. “do not listen to their dreams and prophecies”… and I read into it… “follow your own dreams”… not somebody else’s…and for sure realize this isn’t your land yer livin in!....

Don’t know what all happened to me here but once again in Texas comes another defining moment for me and a new decision to move into a new future with new directives.. won’t tell you what it all means to me.. but I realized after reading a few other places in scripture that I’m floundering on the edge of the promised land because to get there I have to fight my own “giants”… and God is waiting for me to find the courage…supportive ? yes… but he’s actually waiting on MY WILL…. imagine that for a minute…

I delivered six more songs for Sunday morning at their usual morning service…. And the difference in my address of this small congregation was as surprising to me in it’s clarity as it was to anyone there… I’m not done in God’s service! I thought maybe he wanted me to quietly disappear from the Christian world and then I realized they were following me! As I have had to pursue an unfamiliar faith and find courage to live on in the light of Gods agenda for me… hey it’s leadership with no endorsements!... no adds in CCM magazine, sayin “here’s God’s man for the hour”… “look what I’m doing”…no…it’s just another fox hole on the beach facing the same barrage of gunfire from the bunkers above.. and rallying the straggling few who are nearest to me asking “where do we go?”…and I’m saying… “anywhere but here”…8)… (you’ll have to watch the first thrity minutes of Saving Private Ryan to get the full effect)

O.k. so there’s THAT>>> Bryan Foxhole Duncan…

Nifty Noodles/ Long Hunt, No Eggs
4/6/07 Wildomar, CA/ Good Friday
It was a second visit to Cornerstone Celebrate Recovery only this time I got to ride the forty minute trip on Jezebel. I had to make a quick stop to replace a broken brake handle as I dropped Jez in a parking lot in my rush to back out of a parking space… that was embarrassing. Had to ask a stranger to help me pick her up… she weighs…well a lot… never tell a woman’s weight 8).

I’ve made friends with the bike mechanics of all time at Tazmo customs. They specialize in heritage softail motorcycles and I knew if anybody had something quick and could put it on for me they would be the ones… Jeff and Taz are also Black Sheep members and great company around the shop. They came with friends to the Recovery date just for fun and support. I also went to Rich’s Diner with em afterwards.

I absolutely love “Biker Friendly” churches just adds an extra enthusiasm for goin. I was at Cornerstone early for the BBQ and soundcheck. The concert was near perfect.. at least it sounded that way and I finished exactly on time. I was emotionally distracted somewhat.. this is where you just trust the songs to say what they do. I opened with guitar tunes beginning with my little spiel on the two chord song “horse with no name” … and joked about my addiction to excessive Chord use!

The highlight though was a moment where I sung “I’m still dancing” and as I sang I begin to clear away some mic stands that were on stage.. leading everyone to believe that I was planning to really bust a move at some point… “I’m still dancin Like this” I sang just before launching into a very stiff unimaginative little groove without moving my feet. Laughter was immediate too. But people get the recovery idea in that song. “it’s not the choices we make that hurts… it’s the consequences of our choices that we’re recovering from “ I told em.

Even on good Friday.. recovery never stops! And this was a house full of enthusiastic participants and visitors, packed to the walls this night.

4/8/07 Elk Grove, Ca
It’s Easter again and I’m surprised to be back at Discovery Church.. I’m here on holidays it seems… mother’s day and St. Patricks day the last couple of years… this year it’s Easter. I was disappointed a little that I couldn’t find any eggs. Somebody rustled me up some little malted kind from children’s church finally. What? Grown ups don’t get to have any fun here?

My Easter comment didn’t get the reaction I was hoping for “ May all your eggs be hardboiled”… 8)… guess nobody’s had that stunt pulled an em where you color an unboiled egg and put it in with the others? 8)… see when you go to break it…Surprise! It’s a mess.

Well I thought is was funny.

There were three morning services and I was running on fumes… turned out I was drinking decaf coffee without knowing.. couldn’t get movin till mid morning. There was a comment or two on the length of my hair and not being recognizeable but most saw it as a new trent in hair styles. I did notice the Jr. High kids were sporting longer looks.. so my favorite age group was in.

4/8/07 Carmichael, Ca.
Just forty minutes down the road from Discovery church I drove here after Easter dinner PJ’s Pizzeria (only place you can find a seat on Easter Sunday I think) Once again joined by friends from the biker community who also escorted my rental car on their bikes.

It’s hard ridin in a “cage” behind somebody else’s motorcycle..seein em have all the fun without you. But I had agreed to sing for another Celebrate Recovery program at a church on “manzanita”… name of the street I remembered… cause I had a joke for that too…

The punch line was “manzanita recovery”! yea it drew some groans sure.. but I was on my game for being as tired as I was.

After sound check, so exhausted was I that I went to the hotel and “took a nap”! this might be the first of a continuing event as I reach into my mid fifties…it wasn’t bad!... I awoke in forty minutes without help and delivered a “Stellar” performance if I do say so…8)

I was happy to sing more than three songs in a row for a change. Got to just play what I wanted and I repeated mostly the outline I used in Wildomar. It was the same size recovery program but the building was significantly larger.

Lot of people in attendance were long time fans of my early endeavors and so there were more ‘pictures’ to take with people than usual…most recovery folks don’t need a picture with you… they’re just asking yer name mostly. 8)

In talking to some of the “Survivors” of early Christian Music days several were interested in my more recent history. Maybe a little surprised by the course my life has taken. I kept my story brief but anyone who’s been around church work for long doesn’t need an explanation of the hurts that come with it. But one woman had a great thing to remember “God never asks you to trust anybody but him”… she smiled knowing obviously her own disappointments… well said and thank God for insight.

I have to say over the long haul .. Recovery gigs have been the most fulfilling concerts of my life as they are nearly half of my concerts now. I’m getting happier about what I’m doin.. I think I’m right where I’m supposed to be after all these years!

O.k. so there’s THAT! Keep comin back… Bryan D

Nifty Noodles/ What I'm Up To
4/6/07 West Coast Office...
Finally, Radio Rehab adds two new shows to the list of 42. On line at www.radiorehab.com. Timing seems to be right to begin again with the writing and producing of new material. Radio Rehab has been added to airtime in Iraq and now also on the only full time recovery radio station that I'm aware of. It's out of Albany, Oregon: KHLT and on line at www.take12radio.com.

I'm still working my own recovery...listening to the early shows... I can see how much I've changed. I sound really young for one thing.. overly enthusiastic even for one who still has so much to learn. I've always been good at showing people what "I'm gonna do"... turn everything into some kind of Cash Cow. Now I'm talking alittle slower and still wondering if I'm sayin too much or not enough. I've started a series of shows on the Responsibilities of Happiness because "reasonable happiness" seems vague to me. Eventually I need to do a show called "God is doing for me what I could not do for myself".

I've admitted that I am powerless over my own tendency to think "I can make things happen alone"...I'm still borrowing much written truth as opposed to real learned experience. But as I have stopped trying to make Radio Rehab happen... it seems to be growing legs of it's own. For that I'm grateful. And too for the friends who have come along side to help ...specifically David Rowe, James Bowles, Katie Allen and Beverly Johnson. They are responsible for the actual projection of RR into the real world.. mostly I've just written the shows and listened to music that fits...

I've started a third show but my time has been diverted to taxes and concerts, travel and writing songs for the still unfinished "surprise" project with the NehoSoul Band. I threw out a song last week and I've written two new tunes. "You Keep me comin back"...and "the things you bring to me". Yesterday I put a screaming vocal on a rewritten version of "Papa Ain't Gonna Quit" as it is a tribute to one of my favorite singers... James Brown, I needed to bring that JB energy to it... the vocal still has to be edited or "comp'ed" as we say in the studio.. (a compilation of several vocal tracks) but I'm really proud of this effort.

I spent another hour on a new song in a more modern neosoul groove only to find out it's not in the right key for a smooth vocal performance. So Phil Curry is sending me a musical redo and I'll go back to the drawing board and see how the song should be arranged. All in all this song could be the real gold in this project as it is the first time I've focused overtly upon my own personal reasons for following Christ... "The Things you bring to me" is the title... yes...I'm selfish still... my goal is to pursue God simply because he's there.. but moreover I've discovered as I say in the first line "I cry ...cause I can't bring to no body.. what I don't have inside myself"...I'm missing something inside... ill equipped for "giving" to others...no love or patience or even kindness seems to be generated solely on my own effort... and that is why I embrace faith in God. .. it's desperation at it's finest I think.

I still need at least one more song and it's not even an embryo at this stage... unless someone else has written it... I'm gonna put another straight ahead "Christian" lyric song on the record... because as someone told me... you don't want people to think that the "Surprise" is that you've left your career in Christian Music completely... no I'm just redefining it.. by adding some relationship songs on it... cause that is simply where I find myself at this point.

I had a great conversation with Patty Cabrerra, the owner and engineer I work with on this new music... she was a 'former Christian artist".....and label mate at Word Records who now runs Patrona Studio among other endeavors including a masters degree in theology... "I just didn't want my theology to be attached to my paycheck" she said about leaving the label... interesting point..." how often do we tow the line for the wrong motive?" I thought.

I hope I'm honest in my own faith but it would sure help if I could sell this record to somebody...guess I haven't found the courage to step completely away from public opinion yet. My lack of enthusiasm about faith does not come from the fact that I don't have any... but more that I'm aware how often I've been wrong in my assessments...

Maybe I should write that song!

O.K. so there's that... trusting in the one who is always right... Bryan D

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