Nifty Noodles/ Mission Trip
2/24/06 Okatoma Outdoor Post, Seminary, Mississippi
The rain is relentless, I’m miles from a paved road, sittin in a small cabin that looks like something straight out of the bayou. No hotel rooms could be found in Mississppi as they are all occupied by refugees of hurricane Katrina…still displaced after a year. This could be the movie set of Cold Mountain… straight out of the civil war… all I need is a pair of coveralls and a shot gun. There’s a creek that wraps around the cabin on both sides, just me and a fireplace. It feels like a great vacation really.



I’ve come to hang out with about 80 high school kids who are a few miles away in a soon to be finished retreat. I played em my songs in a bunkhouse where the beds and the “auditorium” and the kitchen are in the same room. Mission work maybe. My friend Jason Palmer, a phenomenal funk drummer came down from Tupelo with his wife Ann and he sat in on percussion for the whole set.

I’m nervous around high school kids these days… feeling too old to relate. I’m old school you know. “it’s better to tell your story than to give advise” I told em last night, recalling some advise I was given by a friend recently. I don’t have a lot of answers, but somehow I can recall my mistakes and what I learned from them.

Drivin back to the cabin in the dark felt like the outback of Australia. Pete moss hangin from the trees makes it look like the pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. Lots of trees are still up rooted and lying on the ground.. signs of the fierce wind. The cabin looks like an antique but it survived the hurricane winds without damage so it’s not a gingerbread house.

2/25/06 mid day….I was really hired to talk more than sing at this Camp, Scott Herrin is the youth director here and keeps quoting my songs to me..like I’m supposed to remember em 8)… I finally got around to sharing alittle with the kids. They were extremely quiet as I told as little of my story as I could get away with. Talking more of the reasons I turned to addictions rather than what my addictions were like… that story is old but the story of WHY we go there seems more interesting. And mine revolves around my resentments of other people in my religious environment.. the condescension, the guilt, the manipulation in the name of God, the acceptance born of spiritual performance…and finally my own misperceptions of what God was gonna do for me. “I used to think that if I made the right choices I wouldn’t feel any pain” I told em… “but pain comes with every decision good or bad and it’s not something to be avoided” I quoted the Serenity prayer and spoke of life as a constant schooling of what I can and cannot change. I spoke with near embarrassment for my failures but assured them that God will stand with you even when yer not standing with him through your circumstances. That pain is an indicator of our need for him as a power greater than ourselves. It’s hard to sum up fourteen years of recovery theology and the rethinking that I have had to do but I managed to find an ending point after thirty minutes and finished with the song “Strollin on the Water”.

I participated in some silly indoor games as it is still pouring rain outside… and I think this is the time where the real message is presented… in the off handed moments. I’ll probably never know what the impact is here but I have been willing and I went back to the cabin alone to recover and let my clothes dry out by the fire. It’s a virtual swamp at this point out here.

2/25/06 evening….I returned to the camp at six for dinner… and began to prepare the set list for tonights concert…I’ve already played all my favorites and I’m having to dig to find substance and “Youth oriented” songs. I’m aware that I’m nearly 53 years old… I’m tired and I like mid tempo music that’s not at all like what kids listen to these days. But I can still recall my youth and sing songs from nearly 20 years ago and I’m that age again for moment. I had to call home and get a friend to go online at my website and read me some of the lyrics I couldn’t remember so I could do songs from the “Last Time I Was Here” (which is now gotta be going on ten years ago.)

These kids have been cooped up in a bunkhouse for some 40 hours and I figure they’re not gonna sit still for another “Speech”… I know I wouldn’t and I was the one speaking. So the set list went down non stop and let it fly. The songs included. Mr Bailey’s Daughter, Clap your Hands, This love is What I Get, God Knows, Yes I will, Maybe I’m Amazed (the “ballad portion of the set 8) )… “I’d Like To Thank You Jesus”…Don’t ya Wanna Rap, and finally by request from Scott…. Holy Rollin… I just let the kids take it where they wanted… which included line dancing and lots of jumpin around. By the time I was finished… Man I was finished… my age was screaming at me.. and my voice had snapped I was truly spent. “Can I pray with you” someone asked in the back.. “no just get me some aspirin” … everything hurts and I know whats God’s not gonna heal. It’s appointed unto man once to die… and theres a process that comes with that 8)!!!

2/26/06 Scott Herrin is a man in the trenches of ministry. He’s in a small town in Mississippi working for a very conservative Baptist church.. (still singing songs that are older than I am) He had the nerve one day to call me because he grew up on my music and it was part of his choice of passions to work with new generations. (and apparently bring back old generations to speak to em). One last favor he requested was to stand before his congregation on Sunday and sing for the morning service.

This is a coat and tie Sunday morning Baptist church and I felt like I should be sitting on the back row… My voice cracked several times during A Heart Like Mine but I faced a crowd of 1200 conservatives who have no idea what kind of stuff their kids are dealing with maybe. I wore the t shirt from the camp along with the rest of the 80 some kids sittin in the front and I felt like I represented them as the new sanctified… the truly loved and forgiven.

I waved at the end mostly to the kids I spent two days with and I was on my way home.

I joked before the last song “I’m sure it’s obvious that I have come fresh from the woods 8)….these kids have worn me out… I’m thinking about a new calling to retirement homes after this weekend”….it broke the ice… but it wasn’t completely true. The chance to tell younger people of your own struggle through life is a wonderful gift from God… and a rare opportunity when they listen.

O.K. So there’s That! Bryan D.

Nifty Noodles/ Avoiding the Schrapnel
West Coast Office 2/23/06
I’ve spent most of the week obtaining permission and filling out forms to put my out of print CD collection on burnlounge.com

And I’ve been chipping away at the new NehoSoul surprise project. Scoping out studios and engineers to do the lead vocals here in Southern California where I can sleep in my own bed at the end of the day. And I can ride Matilda to work!

I’ve seen the grace of God in recent weeks in money coming in from unusual sources allowing me one more week of pay as you go recording. Got taxes out of the way early this year… I made $800. after deductions last year 8). I’m making all the decisions lately. Producing and writing and running the record company. It’s a lot smaller world but I’m happier in it I have to say.

The West Coast Office is getting a new paint job on the outside compliments of the Duncan Tower Management. They don’t seem to care about my opinion either… “that’s French coffee?” I quipped about the trim color. “they put a lot of cream in that… I don’t see any coffee in it” 8)

I’ve been customizing Matilda in my spare time .. making her look more “sleek”. My good buddy James backed over my motorcycle with me on it the other day and I am fixing minor damage… I can’t imagine hitting a truck when I’m moving. I was parked and it still knocked me off the bike.

Today too I was in the other lane on Matilda in full view of two accidents on the same day here in my stomping grounds. The first one rolled his car after sideswiping the parked cars to his right… obviously not paying attention and he careened into the car in front of me which caused his car to flip over. Two hours later I’m getting on the freeway at an underpass and the lady next to me moved into the next lane without looking and collided with a van going in the same direction… the parts flying off that accident just missed Matilda’s front fender and I almost caught a piece of the taillight with my hand as it flew up in the air. I’m gonna stop driving when everyone else is on the road I think.

Makes me wanna be sure to sing the scratch vocals really well on the record cause I might be killed before I can do a better job… and they’ll have to release em as is… a tribute album! Yea … hey that might make it sell… I’d rather just fake my death and live to collect the royalties thought. 8)

O.K. so there’s that Bryan Duncan

Nifty Noodles/ BurnLounge
West Coast Office 2/14/06
I just set up a store on line where you can now download some of my older product! It's at WWW.burnlounge.com/papasoul It will take a few months I think to get everything on line there... but I also plan to put up songs that I've recorded and never released officially or at least are not on a particular project such as the "Songs from the porch" that I did on my DVD Music City Live that you can't get anywhere else. of course I plan to record them officially for sale on this site.

This is the wave of the future I think... selling songs individually and you can make your own album collection of my favorite songs... it may also help me financially to continue to write and sing... and if you decide to sign up with burn lounge you can benefit from my sales as well. Check out their website and click on the commercial at the bottom of the page... if you sign up with them for downloading music ... be sure to sign up from my site www.burnlounge.com/papasoul and I get credit for a change! I may even set up early download of songs from the new NehoSoul CD we're working on now before it is even named and released! We'll see. I'm still looking into the hoops I need to jump through on this but I'm starting to get excited about the possibilities.

I've heard in scripture... "it's better to marry than to burn"... but in this case it might be better to "marry and burn" different context of course 8)

O.K. So there's that ... Bryan Duncan

Nifty Noodles/ Seekers Weekend
Ft Wayne, In 2/10/06 Seekers Coffee House.
I love Seekers CH’s. Classy places with a small stage, & Intimate setting. I’m doing this Coffee house tour this weekend they were shows I was supposed to do in December and, for a nominal cut in pay they moved the dates so we could go out and sacrifice our souls on the Christmas tour. 8) Something to be said for small venues. These gigs are “Sold out”. Lots of old friends showed up… that pretty much fills the place right there. Super fan Greg Hughes and his wife Shari were there for sound check and I played em some of the new material I’m working on as well. He took some pictures that might reach the website here. The staff and friends from Streetlevel, my long time booking agency came too…Hi Holly and Vickie. And then there was Elaine! From my original 12 step program in Riverside who now lives in the Fort area. Met some really long term fans who wore their original(hard to find now) Lunatic tour shirts. I told em they could get something on ebay for those. I’d buy em myself.

What a cool gig this was. There’s great food at the venue and it was a relaxing atmosphere..(for the cold Midwest). Played a lot of oldies for the oldies like “Love Takes Time” and Mr Bailey’s Daughter and A heart Like Mine… and I love You With My Life. It’s been a long time since I played for an hour and a half and no body left. I also signed stuff for a long time afterward… another lost art. Truth is … I’d do these everyday of the week if there were enough of em. Unlike a church setting everything seems to flow out of less ‘Obligation” .

Seekers in Fort Wayne is only a year old. And this was a great celebration of that store. They’ve had a couple go out of business…. Some folk don’t know how much work it’s gonna take to run a business… I’m learning that myself with a new record company. I passed out my own little cards with pictures of the band on em and directions to the websites and on line record sales. The hope is I can find interest in booking the whole band eventually. But for this little hall I sounded great by myself. And the trip to tomorrow in Cleveland is so short it just brings tears to my eyes… I can even sleep in.

Cleveland, Oh…2/11/06 Seekers Coffee House.

I didn’t have to leave Ft Wayne until 3 p.m. … wow what a break… the airports these days… is closing in on Hell for the worst place to dwell. Ft Wayne airport is so small that I got there too early actually. So I stopped in the lounge for a drink and to make a few phone calls. Next thing I know they’re saying “last call for Cleveland”… I panic… It’s 20 minutes before the flight is to take off… I run to the gate… “there’s only four people on the flight today” the girl says. “we thought we’d take off early”…. There’s something I’ve never heard in an airport in my life!!!. So I jump on a cigar tube of a little plane and about forty minutes into the flight I discover … there’s no bathroom on the plane! Uh oh…I gotta go… the drink I had in the airport was letting me know it wanted to get off.

Now I’ve read a lot about pain as I try to understand my life… but here’s one that should go way above divorce, loss of a spouse or parent or child in my book… those kinda drag out and there are times for distraction from the pain. But in this case when you gotta go… and there’s no place to get er done,

The pain becomes relentless… you can’t think about anything else… the seconds tick away… the tension… I thought I was gonna lose a kidney… “you either gotta open that door or give me a cup right now” I pleaded upon landing. I’ve never been so grateful for the basic necessities of life. The bathroom get’s overlooked everytime when yer thanking God for things. I’d like to edit my list of things to be grateful for. And the freedom to get there! 8)

Tonight it’s two sold out shows at the original location of Seekers in Middleburg Heights. I’m in a great mood now… cause I’ve seen the light… of the mens room. I went straight to the hall for sound check and set up and then Paul Zorich and myself went to see a “fan” who is in a home for the elderly… she’s only 40… but Annette as I was told has severe diabetes and is blind and losing her battle…. Her friend asked me to visit if I could as she was just a few blocks away from the Coffee House. Here is another opportunity to be grateful for stuff we take for granted… health and the freedom to see where we’re going and be able to physically get there on our own.

The walls in the halls at the “Retirement” facility are lined with elderly disabled. Waiting to go nowhere. I suddenly felt very young and agile in this environment. Still it was a wake up call… “it’s coming for all of us” I thought. Annette did not know I was coming and had to be convinced that I was ME. I’ve never wanted to prove that to anyone before especially with all my recent knowledge of myself… I gave her a rose, provided by the staff at Seekers, and sung some of her favorite song “maybe I’m amazed” and promised to send someone back with a collection of CD’s to listen too. At the shows that night I dedicated “I’ll always have Jesus” to her as well. The song becomes quite poignant in this new light.

Whatever trouble I’ve had hitting notes the last few months was not evident at these two shows.. my voice was in great shape and I was hitting high notes I forgot I had. I think it has to do with hearing yourself in the monitors enough where yer not singing hard all the time. Then you have the power to hit notes when you need em.

What a great time… what a comfortable way to tour… relaxing coffee house venues… all the latte’s you can handle… of course I was up till three in the morning because I lack discipline when it comes to coffee breaks! Seekers has this great Chicken Salad sandwich… I haven’t seen one on a menu for a long time and I had one at both Seekers … I could live healthier if I ate this everyday. I’d like to thank a few fans who brought coffee and gifts to me… as early birthday presents…how nice of you.

Stow, Oh. 2/12/06… a small church

I was picked up early morning at the hotel by the pastor of a small church in Stow Ohio and to save me it was such a quick little morning service that I don’t remember the name of the church… Cornerstone maybe….the man saw me on James Robinson t.v. show and related to my story…. I don’t remember saying anything on the show but I’m amazed at the way people can read between the lines sometimes. This pastor is new to ‘Recovery” found himself in his own world of trouble with alcohol and didn’t realize there was a lot of support for such struggles these days… I think he was prematurely enthusiastic about recovery… only sober now for 8 months… but we talked about living one day at a time and he was very willing to look at things that way. “Preachers and artists just love to look at the numbers” I told him “but in recovery “today” is the only day that counts… there is no ‘accumulated’ interest in a stock pile of yesterdays”….”I’ve heard of instantaneous healing from addictions upon finding Christ and I won’t argue the facts…but it has not been my experience to have my defects of Character removed overnight with no continuing discipline needed”. I told him… don’t know if I’d need God much if he fixed me all at once!

I’m not sure his congregation quite gets his new found vision for being who you are and realizing your brokenness before God but people were friendly in that Midwestern sort of way. Frank and somewhat superficial. I did have one woman with all care and concern tell me… “don’t take Jesus’ name out of your songs”…. I played ‘no words’ “I love you with my life” and “ I never lied to you”…. None of which mention Jesus by name…

This is another pet peeve of mine in church … like “stumbling the believers”. Folks wanna be spoon fed I guess and it feels more comfortable in church if the songs sound like what we’ve heard. “My concern here” I told her… “from my point of view… Jesus’ name has been taken in vain by so many believers, at least in my environment, that it tends to make you sound superficial and condescending to those who are on the ‘outside’ of belief in God.” I used his name a lot too out of obligation to insure the safety of my presence in the church community… but I found myself being rather deceitful in my representation.

I guess it’s good to address whom you are speaking to by name occasionally but it makes for a longer conversation and sometimes you don’t really here what I’m saying in the process. Then maybe I’m just too proud too… cause I don’t wanna come off like the people I know who use his name all the time…intimidating, clueless, self involved, insensitive… is that just me? I’d like Jesus to introduce himself once and a while cause I know folks who never get a chance to meet him personally cause they’ve got so many hand outs on his behalf that they’re pretty sure he’s not somebody they could be friends with.

O.k. so there’s That …. Bryan D

Nifty Noodles/ Defered Honor
2/8/06 West Coast Office
Last week, I went out of my way to attend the funeral of a man I only met once. Dennis Kingsland was the pastor of a small Pentecostal church in Fontanna, Ca. Carpenter’s Home Church.

I played at his church two years ago. And as I walked in to his office at his request on a Sunday morning, I was expecting a kind of Spiritual Scrutiny that comes from senior pastors when they bring an artist in.

I was expecting some profound pontifications about what God was doing with his ministry and how powerful God was using his efforts in his community… why because that’s what American ministers do!!!! Kinda like quoting your own stats in football or baseball… “yea I’m working for God’s team and I’m batting about .700.

Dennis said nothing when I came in to his office. Already suffering from ALS he was bloated and his eyes were already pushing out because of the disease. Still I was expecting some kind of questions concerning my own spirituality. “I like your song, Dying to Meet You” he said… “how did you come to write it?”.

He proceeded to tell me of his struggles in all humility. “I’ve pastored this church for 29 years. We believe in miracles and healing here”…. “I lost half my congregation when I got sick” he said “Cause I haven’t been healed”…

He died last week. And I was asked upon arriving unexpectedly at his memorial to sing a song at the opening. “I think we see affliction as a bad thing” I told the crowd there.

“Maybe we’re wrong about our views that God should fix all our suffering instantaneously”. I quoted loosely from Oswald Chambers “suffering removes a great deal of shallowness”.

Dennis was startlingly close to the kind of humility that comes from truly knowing and trusting God with his circumstances and living with the lack of explanation. He had a more profound impact on me than anyone preacher I’ve ever met. And I have met and worked with thousands of preachers.

I thought of Dennis Kingsland when I saw an advertisement for a t.v. show on The history Channel last night…about the contributions of a group of black soldiers in world war two who were discounted and overlooked. “Now they will be recognized for what they did and how they lived’” ran the ad. The show was called “Deferred Honor”. I think that’s the story we will see of Dennis Kingsland, faithfully serving a God who didn’t heal him or give him the success we always attach to real true servants of God here on earth.

And I think too… how much of my own effort in service is really to be endorsed and validated by men rather than a Higher Power that I trust?

O.K. so there’s that…. Bryan Duncan

Nifty Noodles/ Tell Your Own Story
2/8/06 Telling my Own Story
Since last month I’ve been confronted by the idea of “Not Stumbling the believers”. How does that play out I thought. I’m reminded of a scene in the Civil War epic “Glory” about a black troop regiment where the General’s friend before the war found himself as a private in the army without the prestige he was used to. The General consulted with a heavy handed sergeant who was really hard on his friend as to whether it was necessary pain… “let him grow up a little more” said the sergeant.

I think too that we send a message to new believers in “not stumbling them” that they should be pretentious and hide their defects of Character in an attempt to “Look” more Christian. This becomes in my mind an affront to the death of Christ and what his sacrifice for me means.

I received an email yesterday from a “fan”… who spoke of growing up a second generation fan of my music and then proceeded to explain how I had disappointed him because he saw me in a different light following a performance. He proceeded to blame me for some of his own wanderings. I had to process that in light of my own recovery from being an “approval addict” .

This guy wanted to meet with me. And (after pursuing counseling myself) I concluded that it wasn’t my job to set him straight or fix his circumstances or defend my own. It’s hard to let others learn what you have already learned. This man is half my age and his insults were clearly oblivious from his point of view. Stumbling the believers becomes a diatribe in church circles as a way of getting everyone to conform to an image of Righteousness and I believe there is no power in it. My friends don’t turn to the perfect person when they are in trouble. They turn to someone who has openly confessed to their own failings and are in the process of growing themselves.

I myself would not have found the friends I have now, confessing my sins to… had it not been for the fact that I knew theirs and they were reasonably worse than my own in some cases! 8) I knew that I would not be condemned by them because they knew the same circumstances and were ahead of me in the progress. One of my friends counseled me directly about this situation and left me with a great line to hang my hat on…”better to tell your own story than to give advice”.

O.K. so there’s that…. Bryan Duncan

Nifty Noodles/ Procedures
2/4/06 West Coast Office….
I’ve always asked my friends to shoot me if I started talking about my “Procedures” and office visits with the doctor and my aches and pains and medications in detail….

But in this case I guess it might be considered a mark in time. I checked in with the doctor about some skin cancer cells on my face. I ride motorcycles everyday and before that it was convertibles. I live in California for cryin out loud. They told me years ago to use sun screen because as a fair haired light eyed white guy I was a prime candidate for skin cancer.

Well sure enough we’ve rounded that corner. It was an in office visit but I had no less than 12 cells frozen off… I look like someone took a broom handle to my face this week. They feel like little ant bites and as I recover they blister and it takes a week for them to heal.. and I’m supposed to fill some prescriptions and so forth. O.k. I get it…

I guess I should join the aarp now too…the good news is I haven’t been to a doctor in over a year and even then it was a minor complaint. The doctor introduced me to one of his cohorts working in another room…he seemed to enjoy my visit and didn’t charge me for the visit either. Wow that says something I enjoy the banter with my physician… he’s something of a smart alec himself.

Anyway…he says “you need to get up every morning and just put sun screen on first thing”… “how bout if I just grow my hair out longer and cover the sides of my face” I asked. “that’s good” he says “it’ll cover the blisters”!

O.k. so there’s that. B

Nifty Noodles/ Peek at the Lyrics
2/2/06 Seattle Airport delayed to LA
I’m looking over the songs we’re doing and there is a lot of work to do on lyrics still.. came up with some good lines this week though…thought I’d give you a peak at the concept direction of the new project.

There’s a second chorus hook in “I Love you so”. And I was trying to fit the lyrics to the syncopation and extend the lyrics to the end’s of the phrase. Thought it came out pretty fun:

“no my love isn’t hard to see…yea I give it up with every time you look at me….let me tell ya nother time or two…its you for me and me for you and me….”

I’m looking at the song “tainted” it’s got this great line in it “you lose a pinch of sweet sanity with every cut of life’s straight razor”.

And “never quite as sure as when you’re fallin down”

And on Second Chances…”I get lost about every day and I hardly think about the promises that I’ve broken … and you’ve forgiven”

A stand out in “I Love You So”…”You bring everything you are to me… moon and stars and hopeful skies… every day a new surprise”

From “If Only I”… “there’s an angel I know makes you love a lie… and hang around to hear it again”

From “Papa Ain’t Gonna Quit’….’got ta do what you love… love what ya get…. Get on the good foot …. make a new shoe fit”

From “I’m Still Dancin”… “some people say I should act my age… maybe they’re right .. maybe they’re wrong… maybe I don’t care when I hear a good song”

From “Take Good Care”….”if I’m gonna break the fantasy… maybe oughta make the dream come true”

From “don’t leave me in the Dark”….”I’m not a mind reader baby… wish it wasn’t true… don’t always know what you need from me or how to share my needs with you”

From “Chains”… “Chains come in every shape and size…. Links of little compromises… don’t hardly feel em after while”

That’s all the songs with real content at this point… there are several new pieces of music and I’m sure something new might replace current material… but now you have an idea of the new nehosoul surprise project… about redemption and redefinition…

O.K. so there’s that Bryan Duncan

Nifty Noodles/ Trip to Puyallup
Lil Spice studio Graham Wa… 2/1/06
The power went out for and hour last night but we talked about the future. Phil Curry and Walter Finch sat at Phil’s kitchen table and talked about song style for “If Only I”… while Phil’s 8 year old son Tyrell played drums on his tummy…He keeps a pretty good groove too. I wrote the first Check to Phil to start this work and he’s already ahead of his pay in laying out arrangements frankly… I sung down the whole finished idea vocally on “I Love You So”…don’t like my voice on it yet but after we get the track perfected maybe I can make it mine.

I finished all the other scratch vocals including another song… “Tainted”..and we spent the extra evening time building a soul groove for “if Only I”…that is becoming a real surprise to even us.. and we spent hours on the bridge…

I called Ricky B in Nashville late night to ask about having Mycle Wasteman do background vocal work on several tunes that have alternate hook melodies. MW is a 20 something white kid we opened for at Jazzbones in Tacoma several months back. He’s a killer vocalist… a cross between Stevie Wonder and John Mayer… he would bring a fresh sound to Old School music.

All in all… the last two days have been the most productive I think of anytime I’ve ever spent doing any record. Maybe cause there’s no “middle men” in the equation. I’m writing the checks, makin the decisions… and driving the Winnebago. Actually it is a cheap little rental car.. getting to Phils was a road rally of sorts and it never stopped raining the whole time I was in Seattle.

It’s hard to completely see how this record will stand up… lyrically the songs are not designed with the obligatory “Christianeze” for it to be widely accepted in church. But we all complain in CCM about how no one tries to do anything different or something insightful from a Christian perspective. The reason? Its risky! People like cut and paste and readers digest versions of everything. Not just in the gospel world either. “Give me something I don’t have to think about”.

I say this because I’m already worried about how the record will do and who I promote it to. It’s a little harder being the marketing guy and the artist. Now I have to balance the whole picture and if the “art” doesn’t sell … well then I’ll be struggling to make ends meet… kinda like … an artist.

O.K. so there’s That…. Bryan D

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