6/30/01
Nifty NoOdles/ No Fear in Windermere
Roach Mo.
I was looking forward to my own gig after the Sweet Comfort Band reunion last night. I need it to be fun and successful. A reassurance that I'm not caught in a rip tide at this point in my life. My sound man was to meet me in Kansas City at noon and we would drive a rental car 4 hours to Windermere Baptist conference center in Missouri. His flight on United was cancelled and he never made the gig. I drove alone four hours on four hours of sleep.

I'll just say I came on after the Pie eating contest. My microphone wasn't on for the whole first song, Blue Skies was the tune. How ironic, singing about how wonderful things are now.. When in reality... I'm working a crowd of mom"s and dad's with kids under twelve mostly, who are here strictly for the fireworks. I spent ten minutes doing Short People drivel trying to cope while the "technicians" worked the problem. We had a lengthy sound check as well and it took them most of the night to dial in the sound. By then I was mired in such a hodge podge of song selection and second guessing that the event was lost for me. It was reduced to something to endure, an exercise in attitude adjustment, "I am an overcomer! I am!

The best part of the night was talking to the little kids who came up for autographs... I can't imagine that my music was interesting to them at all. But I know kids are always open to someone who shows an interest in them and a little courtesy.

I focused on the conversations with them after the "show". Forget the concert but I came along way for this event. Hopefully I had an impact on some kids self esteem. I know I could use a little myself after this one.

O.K. So theres the reality bryan d

6/29/01
Nifty NoOdles/ Return Of Sweet Comfort
Creation East Festival, Mt Union, Pa. It's a two hour two lane to the festival site from Hagerstown, Maryland where I flew in. Randy Stonehill came out with me from L.A.. Randy Thomas joined us in Pittsburgh for the final leg. Kevin and Rick drove in from Cincinnati. It feels like the shoot out at the O.K. Corral. We drive into the site, "littered" by thousands of tents and trailers...looks like camping at it's worst. The road is being watered down to ease the stir of dust now caked on all the parked cars.

The stage is impressive though and the crowd at 10:30 a.m. is already huge. Over 100,000 people have registered for the festival. I get an uneasy ache in my stomach when I get out of the car. Nerves maybe, I hear the familiar "Cheerleading" from the stage that makes me feel like I need to resign from Christianity.

We mill around for an hour or two and finally get a sound check. The sound is awesome. The bottom end is overwhelming. We run "Contender" it sounds very tight and my voice feels very strong. It is a sweaty day out, very humid. My garment bag didn't get here with me last night. So I'm wearing my one new outfit from Walmart, the only thing open at midnight here.

Of the legends list of bands we came on last... The waiting was mind numbing. I did watch the 77's... They were far and away the best thing I heard here today. Three guys doin power rock.. As Sam Kenison would have said they were "too hip for the house". Great players and great guitar tones... They were in my opinion a cut above everything I've heard in Christian music in the last decade at least musically. We followed them, playing to an audience in the immediate foreground of maybe two thousand folks, not even two percent of the attendance at this festival.

Our music was pretty tight...The comment from the stage manager of the festival was, "you'd never know you hadn't played together in 16 years". My voice was clear...I forgot a verse in "Good Feeling" and got lost on Get Ready... That was the last song of our set and it ended in rather anti climatic fashion. We didn't do Childish things or Somebody loves You.

After wrapping up stage side, we joined Daniel Amos, Randy and the 77's over at the official Press tent. The questions were unbelievably long and overstated. Some of the people with press passes were 15 years old. These folks seemed down right bored, like they were waiting for the headliners and we were the opening act. I don't believe any of those present were old enough to remember sixteen years ago in Christian music. From there we went to the "signing tent". This is where you sign autographs and do the celebrity thing. The line was painfully slow with all of us sitting at the table. I finally got up and walked down the line signing everything that folks wanted signed. Some people were in line but didn't know what they were in line for. I showed people my new project as I walked the line... I felt like a fuller brush salesman. I was happy to depart the Great event. The bigger these things are the more lost I feel in the shuffle.

O.K. So there's That bryan d

6/25/01
Nifty NoOdles/ Careening off the Guardrails
Last week was an interesting exercise in careening off the guardrails on both sides of life. Of Course in real life there are no guardrails... So maybe I've developed some boundaries of my own. Wednesday evening I had a rehearsal with the members of Sweet Comfort Band. First time in sixteen or more years. We're "reuniting" for four dates this summer.

I'll be honest, I wasn't looking forward to this or the concert dates. In my mind it's like turning around and going back the way you came. It is a diversion from my immediate plans to promote a brand new record. Like golf suggested "retirement" to me for the longest time. So too "reunion" suggests "lack of an optimistic future", "nothing better to do", "can't find promising work". I had originally agreed to do this as a way of finding a performing stage for Joyride. I was told "no problem in playing a side stage at these summer festivals with my new record. Once again I've learned to "get it in writing". This kind of stuff is where I return to that feeling of powerlessness and the anger that comes with it. I knew I was headed for the guardrail to the left.

So I decided it's time to get serious about writing and publishing that first book I've been talking about for three years now. I'm thinking If I have to go back to the past lets at least tie a line to the future. So I asked for help with the organization of my material from a "ghost writer". I see her more as a "producer" of my book. So in the past week I too have realized the idea and working title of my first manuscript with the help of one Jeanne Halsey. The title: So There's That! Suddenly I'm no longer worried about living in the past! I found in Mrs. Halsey, a fired up writer who reads everything and quickly. She has a no nonsense "lets get it done" kind of work ethic that I haven't seen in years. In a short couple of weeks we have formed the basis for the book pulling heavily from this very record of events... "Nifty NoOdles"! We'll see where else the book will go as we develop it. It's at two hundred pages right now as "a year in the life of one Christian Singer songwriter"... It's more interesting than that just sounded to me. Just reading the excerpts was exciting.

On Thursday I even found time for some sailing with a friend off the coast of California at Dana Point. And Friday night I took in a triple A baseball game with my family and friends at church (the flow people), before heading out to do three concerts this weekend in Simi Valley. Which is what this noOdle was supposed to be about but there's just too much stuff goin on these days to cover it. I did enjoy the services at Sonrise. One Saturday night and two Sunday morning. I was given forty minutes of each service to sing whatever I felt like. Thank you for the trust. I did "a heart like mine" for the first time in ages (and hit all the high notes too). Did it as a favor to the pastor... It brought on a standing ovation I wasn't expecting. There will be more about the band reunion and the noOdle book coming this summer.

O.K. So there's that! bryan d

6/20/01
Nifty noOdles - The Rehearsal
Thursday 6/21/01 The Rehearsal.
Last Wednesday was the official one rehearsal of the reunion bound Sweet Comfort Band. All the original members were there. Randy Thomas flew in from Nashville to run the rest of us (still living in southern California) through our selection of songs for the, summer "where are they now" tour the festivals are doing.

We met in San Bernardino at Ten a.m. At a COCO's restaurant (an old familiar stomping ground back in the day) for a breakfast brunch. There was no fanfare just the four of us, like twenty years ago. Everyone looks well but noticeably aged.

Sweet Comfort Band is a study in temperaments. And I recognized each one again instantly as we began to talk about the olden days. Rick Thomson leads the charge bringing up the most embarrassing moments of each member. Things we said in concert that were stupid but memorable. Like the time in Canada when Rick finished the crash cymbal ending of the encore tune and screamed into the microphone. He was intending to say "good night, God bless You" but in his enthusiastic hurry blurted out "bah bep who", or the time he was singing and launched his front teeth caps into the audience and then dove into the crowd after them! I invented stage diving he laughed. We covered all the old funny stories and it was a pleasant experience. I was relaxed. I forgot that we were all alittle apprehensive about this meeting. Because even as all things end, not all things end happy. So now we're off to Rick's Studio to rehearse for the first time in at least sixteen years.

We have all relearned the songs alone and then planned to come together for this "cram session". I was surprised at how much of this material came back to me almost without thinking. That was also the story for the other members as well. Back in the old days before CCM radio we played these songs for years. Now days you wait to see if it's a radio success and if it's not you move on to another project. Maybe that¹s why there's so much enthusiasm from friends and fans about the Sweet Comfort Band reunion... They had time to hear those songs. Before everything changed.

SO the rehearsal went well, I was surprised at how tight the material sounded coming from so many years away from it. I was also surprised that the other guys were worried about making mistakes in front of me. They originally wanted me to come in a few hours later after they had strengthened the basic track. As I recall it was my own mistakes that seemed to glare the most. Those old keyboard intros are all alone at the beginning songs as a "highlight". We recorded the last run through of the tunes. It was pretty tight. By now I've been screaming the vocals for about nine hours and I'm starting to make mistakes in the music just from lack of oxygen to the brain.

We took a lunch break somewhere in there and talked some about what we were all doing now. There was commentary on our successes and failures individually. We talked of the direction of Christianity, in music and in general. And where it has gone without us. We had planned to change the world you know! Maybe that was the biggest disappointment. Life never turns out like you planned. But I know we had an impact on individuals. Kevin Thomson's own kids who dropped by to listen are both in Christian Music. Eli, as a leader at Maranatha Music (our first record label) and Josh as a guitarist in the Promise Keepers band. "I got saved to this song" Josh said about "Get Ready" at one point. That's what seems to stand out to me, even as we circled for a final prayer. Someone prayed..."we know this hasn't really been about the individual songs, but about knowing you and sharing that with others" .

We didn't change the world. But to the people who gave there life to Jesus as a result of our music in some way, for them, the world will never be the same. And neither will our destiny. I am puzzled my the timing of these events but I am reminded by my wife's favorite sermon to me... And I embrace this fact... This is not about me!

O.K. So there's that.... Bryan D

6/14/01
Nifty noOdles - Once upon a Wednesday night
6/14/01 Maranatha Chapel in San Diego
I had a tepid plan but it was set in stone. Five songs before a Bible study. I tried to be cool and opened with "Holiday in Heaven" it was too mellow for an opening song. I forgot the first verse and over reacted to an unmoved audience. The second song seemed equally boring. The sound didn't seem to travel past the front edge of the platform. I hurried to introduce a song after "It Gets Better" (it didn't by the way) I introduced the wrong song in a set list that was being run from the sound booth instead of at my keyboard. Suddenly the correct song couldn't be found. I was asking for "The Battle Is The Lords". Well I had given the wrong song number to my sound man who didn't have the titles written down... Only the number of the tracks... At one point I ran down into the audience to see if I could help find the song. We had to play five seconds of every song on the CD before we found the tune... It was the last song. How appropriate, singing "The battle is not yours it's the Lords". After that we couldn't find the next song either so I just played "If You Pray For Me" on the piano. Of course by now I'm so exasperated that I have no spiritual feel for the song at all. I'm just irritated. It sounds terrible and no amount of sauce on the vocal can help me find the conviction. I left the stage after that. The pastor called me back out for a round of applause. A sympathy ovation I think. I didn't hear what he said except "He's really different". Nothing went as I planned... I'm sure God had an idea but I was never more unprepared for God to step in, especially without any notification.

I was so embarrassed when I finished, I went and hid in my truck until the end of the night. I called a couple of friends to talk me out of a depression. When you only have five songs and twenty minutes, you want things to go right. They didn't and it fit the bible study perfectly. It was about our human failures and our need for God. Well that's just great. I don't see why I had to be the colorful "illustration".

Some newcomers approached me after the service, I was standing out by the trash dumpster where all the refuse belongs. They were so "entertained" they said. "I've never seen anything like that in church" one girl said. "That was so funny".

Good to know I have a ministry. All I need now is a dancing bear and some bowling pins to juggle while riding a tricycle.

O.K. So there's THAT. Bryan d

6/8/01
Nifty noOdles
6/8/01 Mesa, AZ - Duncan in The Desert!

One gig this week end... You'd think I could stay awake for it. Man it's already hotter than ... Phoenix here! 113 degrees at 4:00 p.m. It's an interesting feeling standing out doors in this heat. Maybe it takes your energy cause I was dragging through the gig that started at eight. My throat was clearly dry and I missed a few notes due to fatigue. I was pushing too hard to sing. Some of the reason had to be the monitors and sound system.

One thing for sure though, I've never sung with more passion and focus than this evening.

I started with Love Takes Time... And I focused on painful experiences, recalling many older songs I had written in tougher times which took me to songs in a different order than usual. I let the lyrics do the hard work. But I was feeling a desperation and an intensity as I sang that was extra strong. I could feel tears well up during several songs especially when I sung "there is no pain that Jesus cannot feel". I need that reassurance even as I sing it to others.

What was different tonight ? I wanted to communicate something more lasting than my own experience. That¹s different from my approach up to now. I was staring at maybe 60 men from Teen Challenge, all dressed in matching golf style shirts and sitting up front. There were some forty members of Club 440 internet fellowship up front as well. Fans from several states flew in for this event from as far away as Maryland. The thirty voice choir sat attentively through the first hour and a half of my set waiting for the chance to sing in a Finale. It was a benefit for Crisis Pregnancy Center. I hope the benefit wasn¹t a crisis. The hall was huge with room for more people than showed up.

"Sex is not Love... That¹s what we tell the girls" said the director of CPC. Interesting how we have to spell out simple things like that. Stuff that seems easy enough to understand but manages to turn upside down in a humans brain when things are spinning.

I finished the night playing two songs with the local church choir and band. They sounded great but needed to be turned up in the house system. I came back for an encore doing Holy Rollin' adding that Pentecostal two step I've done for years. I'm gonna die of a heart attack doing that tune someday. I left the stage staggering... I gotta stop eating those Krispy Kremes.

O.K. So there's that bryan d

6/2/01
Nifty noOdles/Austin
6/2/01 Austin, TX... Jammin' Java Looks like an atrium... It's thirty feet to the sunlit ceiling and long to the left and right. Tables and chairs to the sides of the stage and row seating in front of the stage. Fortunately the place was packed. It keeps the music from reverberating too much, not a great sound for a coffee house.

There was an old black man sittin in the third row with his cane and sunglasses... He looked like a blues enthusiast. He was smilin through the whole thing though I could tell he'd never heard my songs before. He was with his daughter maybe who was definitely familiar with the songs. Kinda summed up the audience. Maybe half had heard me before and they brought their friends.

I went long again... Two hours at least with a break in the middle. I'm being selfish. I even gave them pieces of about five Sweet Comfort Band tunes. I felt like I'd overstayed my welcome about three songs before I quit. It's hard to let go of an attentive audience. People were enthusiastic and subdued at the same time. A Prozac crowd... A little too well adjusted maybe. I enjoyed their company. The latte's were great and this goes down as one of the better gigs once we found out where to turn on the power amps.

O.K. So there's THAT! bryan d

6/1/01
Subject: Nifty NoOdles/ I feel good
6/1/01 Lake Forrest, Ca ... Celebrate Recovery. A little kid came up to me asking "do all your CD's start with the same song?" I had to think about that one for a minute. " all the ones with the same picture on the front do!" I told him.

I feel guilty for feeling this good about a gig. There's that programmed response that if it feels good you're probably doing something wrong! Singin for this program is not work at all. You don't have to show anybody their need for a savior or back up your theory about whether or not God exists.

"I was drawn to that song you sing" one woman told me "that was before I realized that I even had a problem". My songs are understood here so quickly! I never feel like I'm doing the wrong material. Unlike other concerts that leave me insecure. You know like summer festivals that I'll be doin for the next three months.

Belonging somewhere is better than trying to attain popularity world wide!!!! Excuse me for taking notes here. This may seem like obvious news but not to me. I'm still unhappy because I haven't achieved "universal acceptance". Kinda arrogant of me to think I should. "What's wrong with me" I think, when people don't like my work.

I sing for my own benefit you know. It helps me believe in a truth that I don't trust... That God loves me fully and he's not emotionally vacant when I turn to him. Funny isn't it? How I can be in Gospel music for so long and still have such a poor understanding of the nature of God. I'm still worried about what he thinks of me. I can just see him up there goin over my Rap sheet with a frown on his face, shakin his head like he doesn't know what to do with me. Embarrassed at my quirkiness.

That picture alone is a cardinal sin! Sin, because it surely separates me from him. It keeps me hiding in the dark woods. Here at this meeting I'm greeted by men who know the exact nature of my wrongs and do not reject me. If they can do that, greeting me with open arms Why can't I believe that about God who created these men.

It's acceptance that feels so good here. It gives me hope. That little glimpse of the nature of God comin through people... It's the "NURture of God. There are a few moments in my life when I get that overwhelming sense of complete acceptance from a loving God who ran to save me before I was born. It hits me so hard that I drop all my "weapons of defense" in an instant. My face doesn't hide my feelings behind a smirk. My hands drop to my side and tears rush to my eyes. My mind turns off like an old TV. Set with that one dot remaining... focusing your attention. My jaw loosens it's grip and my heart instinctively leaps in desperation at what it knows to be the one salvation it's been looking for forever. O.k. Now I'm getting dramatic but I can't quite describe the feeling adequately. Or explain why it disappears so quickly.

That’s why we "keep coming back"

O.K. So there's that... Bryan d

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