Nifty Noodles/ Radio Christmas............
6/29/05 West Coast Office…
O.k. so I missed the last concert and I have three weeks with no gigs…it’s time to see what God wants right now. I went back and listened to the Neho Soul Christmas material that Phil Curry is producing… he sent me two more songs on the project… “Christmas Time Is Here” and “Little Drummer Boy” . I jumped out of my chair… how can something so good be happening in the midst of all this chaos in my life! 8) It’s like discovering a gold mine and I can’t get it out fast enough..

One thing is for sure, the process of creating and dreaming and planning is really the reward that gets me through the down times. By the time people hear this stuff and are astonished, I will be recording the next project which now has 14 songs to pick from. And so the beat goes on…

This week I’m going back to doing some radio rehab shows again. With the next 8 shows I’ll have 50 thirty minute shows! Almost an entire years worth… and then maybe I’ll do a third Christmas show and highlight my favorites from the NehoSoul Christmas project. I haven’t done radio rehab for about 10 months because I’m needing to work on my company and Band and deal with my divorce. All of that is going pretty well. And I still thought I wouldn’t have anything further to say about “recovery”. And I thought maybe God is through with this because I’m thoroughly broken… and there won’t be that super happy ending to my “testimony”… but I was wrong.

I began to think about how many little phrases there are that I learned in recovery. And how they have helped me through enormous depression and anxiety. I’ve heard recently from people on staff at Saddleback Celebrate Recovery… they listen to RadioRehab every day! One leader even has guys in Brazil with no meeting to attend listen to RR on line…And I got an email from a doctors office yesterday where they play the shows in their office from my on line website! The final clincher to do more shows came from a friend who reminded me of an encouraging statement I made to her about getting through the really hard things… “act as if”… .

So I’m doing the next 8 shows called “power lines” on the Road To Redemption! I will be taking the little phrases that have helped me the most even through the last 10 months and doing shows built around them and their implications. They are: “Keep Coming Back”, “ Act as If”, “ Just Do it and Get Through it”, “Your plan B, God’s plan A”, “ Want Change? Make Change”… (that’s from a more profound statement I heard from Cool Ministries in Houston.. where they say “If you want something different your gonna have to do something different” …. The other shows will be “No Regrets” built on the real phrase “I will not define myself by who I used to be”… and finally “learn to affirm”… the best way to live well with the people around you!

So now I’m all pumped cause I realize that even though recovery has not redeemed everything for me… it has given me many rewards in dealing with disappointments and heartaches. I can accept the consequences of my mistakes without being bitter and I can face the real me with all my defects of character and find a new motivation for pursuing a supreme redeemer and savior.

Nothing in my life is as it was! I forget we’re on a Road to Redemption always.. everything is a process and I’m side to side and up and down like everyone else! And with that comes true humility and a need to trust God with all these changes. Knowing that he is not punishing me for my sins but allowing me to learn new things that eventually will contribute to the encouragement of others.. and I will therefore be a monument to God’s grace and a shining light focused on God’s redemption of man in all his weaknesses. That’s really the good news in a nut shell. And now I have journal-ed my way out of a deep funk this morning by reaching out to you with my thoughts… see how that works!!!!

Keep Coming Back… Bryan D

Nifty Noodles/ Missed It............
6/24/05 Saturday West Coast Office…. Two gigs ago my luggage didn’t make the show and I did… this week my luggage got there and I didn’t ! I did not allow enough time to deal with the summer vacation crush and the high security alert at LAX. I was there on my usual schedule but the airport was a Zoo on Saturday morning… stood in line for 45 minutes trying to check in…I couldn’t get through security screenings fast enough and I missed the flight. United airlines rescheduled me but didn’t tell me It was only a standby ticket… I didn’t make the next flight… after six hours I discovered that every airline was sold out to anywhere in Colorado. I was supposed to be in Pueblo and for only the fourth time ever in my career I missed a concert because I couldn’t get there the day of.

The promoter had his own problems with potential lightning storms on this outdoor amphitheater gig. For me the day was a complete wash: Loss of revenue for the concert and sales revenue, Cost of the ticket and parking and gas to the airport and to add insult to injury I have to drive back to LA to get my luggage when it comes back from the gig I couldn’t get to. I found little serenity in accepting the things I could not change today.

The good news is I’m scheduled to be back in Colorado Springs in Aug. I told the promoter we would comp tickets to the people who drove down from Denver to see my show. And I would send the first printing of a Nehosoul Christmas CD to the one couple who set up their vacation from Chicago to be at this concert. My plan is to “double down” after this loss and bring the nehosoul band with me next month… when the promoter heard my idea he too wanted to set up a separate event with my band while I’m there. And we’ll try to book a club in Denver on the same weekend. Truth is I needed this gig financially as the summer months are slow for me this year.

All I can do from here is to move ahead and take another reasonable risk. In the meantime I have to try to enjoy the extra moments I have at home this weekend… I took Matilda for a long ride and had dinner with a friend and for a while at least I got my mind off the absolute frustration of a complete “shutout”. I have to work harder for a reasonably happy outlook in the face of this kind of irritation. Here’s where the rubber meets the road in my disposition. Acknowledging my bad attitude doesn’t remove it… I have to peddle harder emotionally just to stay in the same place… it’s like compounded interest.. you have to work twice as hard for half as much!

We all know there will be days like this but going through it ….still doesn’t feel better knowing that.

O.K. So theres that… bryan d

Nifty Noodles/ That's what Fathers do.........
6/20/05 Carrolton, TX
It was Fathers Day and Sunday and I was singing a few songs in the two morning services at North Church. They are nominally charismatic here. The church facility suggests a larger congregation than was actually inhabiting the place. This qualifies in the top three of the most ethnically diverse churches I’ve ever sung in. Korean, Hispanic, Black and white.

There was an overwhelming number of people who introduced me to “adopted” sons and daughters. And during the second service I got the distinct impression that fathers day was a painful time for many. I met one family whose father had passed away only weeks before. I met a girl who’s father had “abandoned” her upon marrying into a new family.

I spoke briefly about my own sons and how “there were whole decades where I didn’t like em very much”… “my biggest celebration was getting them off of my car insurance” I joked

I was upbeat and at the same time… spoke of dads as men who aren’t always as strong as you might think.

” the best thing you can give a man (dad or not) is someone to love and care for, and if you can’t give him that give him something to hope for… and if you can’t give him that… then at least give him something to do!” I laughed… it was a variation on a line I heard in a movie recently that I liked…. “fortunately I have all three and I’m very grateful” I said.

The highlight moment came as I was singing “I love you with my life”. Once again this song takes on meaning I never would have imagined… “you will not suffer long for I have suffered for you…” I love you with my life”… I repeated and there were tears in the audience as people clearly attached it’s meaning to “fathers”.

I repeated a few times… “I love you with my life”… and I finished with …” that’s what fathers do”! when I finished there was an instant “uprising of applause and ovation… it was the moment really more than the performance… the thought process more than the answer I think… I was astounded.

We forget sometimes that we all struggle with holidays meant to show the best side and an opportunity to celebrate the obvious… sometimes the obvious isn’t so “obvious”. I think too of Valentines day and Christmas when love should be evident… and it becomes a sad time to reflect as well on what isn’t right in the bigger picture.

The pastor here shared back stage with me some of his own personal struggle with his health and the politics of ministry. I was honored to know something of his person because I wouldn’t have attached his story to his image otherwise. He was dressed like a power broker with a boyish haircut.. he was 8 years older than I… and in his own way was working on “Recovery”…. He was up front about his recent stroke that took his voice from him and his love of preaching… he has since recovered his voice and gives credit to God’s restoration through miraculous healing. He interviewed a small boy during the second service who has over come his need for medications… and he clearly has a love for hurting and broken people.

Over all my time spent here was divinely ordained I think in some kind of routine way still… I was merely a thumbtack on God’ s bulletin board this weekend. His way of holding up a picture of himself and his plans. We were looking at “this sinful world as it is and not as we would have it”…and asking God for his guidance for what we cannot control.

At least that’s my take…. Bryan D

Nifty Noodles/ Weekend Off
6/12/05 Southern California basically…
I saw Keb Mo live this weekend cause I wasn’t playin anywhere myself… can’t remember the last live concert I went to… Keb Mo is one of my all time favorites… so I was excited when Wayne Hoffman offered me tickets to the concert at a well known amphitheater on the water in San Diego. Keb was right on time but the sound system was dialed down so much that you couldn’t feel the strength of the music… they had the whole system “compressed” probably because of a Noise abatement degree by the City. Either way I had a great time. I was also encouraged because as good as his band was… I would put anyone of my musicians up against em and come out on top!

I left with more resolve than ever to get the Neho Soul band out there. I also ran into a guy I thought I knew… talked to him several times before I realized that I only recognized him from a T.V. show called “that 70’s Show” he plays the dad (Kurtwood Smith). I was a little embarrassed but he said “yea ever body thinks they know me from there own surroundings”.

Sunday night I went to see a new singer/ songwriter in concert at a small gathering… his name.. Devin Duncan… he’s 19 years old and he looks a lot like me, only his style is completely different. He had a tough crowd… they were pretty quiet. I had my own tough crowd earlier in the day as I sang a couple of songs at a birthday party for a friend at a little place downtown called Tin Lizzy’s.

O.K. so there was my cool weekend off… bd

Nifty Noodles/ Christmas is Coming!!!
6/7/05 West Coast Office…
Oh My! Oh My! I’ve been listening to the first four basic tracks for the “NehoSoul Christmas” project to be released this year on my record label. Phil Curry is producing this stuff and it is so happy sounding and exuberant it just gives me chills already! Included so far is “This Christmas” (my song) guaranteed to get covered by other artists in the long run and Silent Night with an R&B twist you’ve never heard before on the vamp. Then there is “Christmas Comes but Once a Year” by Charles Brown… done too happy to be the blues! And then comes “O Holy Night”…which adds reverence for the season without expected “religious” overtones. We are also planning to do “Little Drummer Boy” with Sam Mathews doing some stand out drum highlights… I’ve never heard anything quite like this stuff in a Christmas project except maybe Mariah Carey’s thing but she lacks true passion for the real meaning if you ask me.

I’m telling you, when I hear this stuff all in a row I get so excited I can’t sit down!

This record will put all the Christmas blues on the back burner… !!!!

We’ve got a lot of ground to cover to get this out but already yer gonna flip when you hear it! Stay tuned… Bryan D

Nifty Noodles/ O.K. in Tulsa
6/6/05 Tulsa, OK
I was an hour late leaving for LAX Saturday morning… woke up in a panic at 5 a.m…. first time I’ve ever overslept on the day of a gig. I’ve been using my cell phone for my wakeup calls and somehow never heard the alarm. It’s an awful feeling to wake up desperate. I hit the road in five minutes and made the airport in 50…doing 90…then got pulled over at LAX for doing 30 in a 25… and lost precious minutes listening to a speech from a motorcycle cop about this being national seatbelt month. I parked across from the terminal (at $30. a day parking) abandoned my luggage to avoid security hang-ups and made the flight with 15 minutes to spare. I was unraveled and irritated and angry at my own lack of discipline.

I was sickened that I had to leave my product behind to make the gig… that’s a lot of income out the window. When I got to Tulsa hours later it hit me that I might have parked in a daytime only slot and called LAX security to check. Nothing like leaving a large truck in an empty parking facility with a big black duffle bag in the back seat! “I might have made a mistake” I told the lady at LAX… “you’re fine” she said… “except that it will be expensive when you get back”… they were nice enough to not tow my vehicle to an impound lot.

I went straight on stage shortly after arriving for the Celebrate Recovery “mini convention”. I played a thirty minute “Teaser” set that was better than the show at 8:30.

I played my new guitar just given to me by Peavey as part of a new personal endorsement that will include a second guitar… so now I have more guitars than I know chords to play on em…! I have more guitars than I have keyboards come to think of it. Guitars come in all colors too.. I have two red ones a blue one and a black one…. Sounds pretty professional of me don’t you think… what kind of guitar do you have?.... I have a blue one!

Recovery gigs are where the rubber meets the road… no pretense at these gigs… I love the hang time. It’s honest and uplifting to meet people in recovery. People who have admitted that there are unmanageable places in their lives. “Thanks for looking people in the eyes when you sing” one lady said to me after the Sunday morning services at the First United Methodist church in down town Tulsa. “I’m a counselor here and I’ve seen a lot of professional singers come and stare at the back wall while they sang” she continued “you have a wonderful ability to connect with the heart” she added… that was the most eloquent compliment I’ve ever heard in my career.

There was a wonderful moment too where I realized the impact of my leaving everything behind just to be here. The reward was worth the sacrifice and loss. It’s an insight on the next life I think… leaving all to be in the presence of God. I was lighter hearted as there was nothing in tow… no baggage to speak of not even a change of clothes! But I was glad I made it. It reminds me of a little card I saw in a friends office at Hume Lake Christian camps… “Only people matter”! Maybe that’s why connecting with people is so hard on a daily basis and so rewarding eventually. I’ve made my lists of people to connect with over my lifetime… the list you send Christmas cards to! But I’ve found some of the most wonderful connections with “God’s angels in disquise”. And God reminds me of the simplest of truths in scripture.. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” …” have a love for others before you find yourself in need” God whispered to me this weekend.

I was thinking about how frustrated I’ve been with the “turn over” in my world of community. I can make an effort to pick and choose my friends… but I’ve discovered that I have little power over who chooses ME to reach out to. And I look back over a simple weekend filled with disasters and realize how God has loved me through others… the motorcycle cop who didn’t write me up and gave me directions instead, the security lady on the phone who believed my impossible situation and granted me grace, the flight attendant who went out of her way to get my guitar to me on the plane after the return trip. The “compliment” lady endorsing me… the guys from the prison laughing at my stories, the lady who cut wild flowers just to have em back stage when I got there… (I took em home by the way) and the husband and wife lawyers dedicating their time to this recovery program who know the exact nature of my sins and have me out to sing anyway, giving me extra offering money just because they had it… and finally the president of Peavey who decided I needed two of his guitars just for fun…

This is why it is important to reflect on any given day… there is always something to be grateful for and it usually is contributed by other people. So today I will be a person like those I have met this weekend… looking for ways to contribute to the lives of those I meet even if they are not on my Christmas card list…

O.K. So there’s That… you other people 8) …. Bryan d

Copyright © 2000, 2005 All Rights Reserved, BryanD.com & Bryan Duncan