Nifty Noodles/ The Way To San Jose'

March 29 & 30 San Jose,CA

There's a million people in the San Jose area... 600,000 live within five miles of my hotel... (it says so on a little plaque on the sidewalk). All the lunatics are out when we arrive too. Street creatures and pan handlers. Along with the joggers and bikers. There's a band playing the blues across the street at the Caesar Chavez park. Mostly SJ is a clean little town with the worlds largest diversity of races I've seen anywhere...even at the Cathedral of Faith where I held what amounts to a campaign, three services and a concert over two days. The congregation is from around the world... "we look like a giant fruit cake" I joked, about the diversity. "It's great to see the tonight show band here this morning"... I commented, about the full horn section with the worship musicians... They were so good I sat in the front row before service to hear them do the warm up stuff. Professional musicians! the worship was groovin'... Amen and thank God for a change. The services were high charged emotionally. I couldn't tell if it was run of the mill Pentecostalism or extreme focus because of recent world events. But you could feel a presence of God that was noticeable to even the most jaded of gospel singers. They sang God Bless America and there was a marked unity in the support for our troops in Iraq and elsewhere. Church leadership was well directed here and comments from the pastors to the congregation were seasoned with grace for all people. I was impressed.

"I love You With My Life" was the single pillar that connected me to this Church. I could tell it gave me the permission that I needed to be honest about the rest of my life... Without raising the suspicions of the leadership. I followed that with "Maybe I'm Amazed" and the local band and worship singers joined me on that song. It was top notch all the way.

The intensity seemed to wear me out over the day... It seems odd that around people who seem to have a powerful place in relationship to God tend to make me feel unsafe. I'm still not sure if church is a safe place to be if you are broken... Some people seemed so motivated by "positivity". That I was afraid to rain on their parade. Clearly "I have issues". I was exhausted by Sunday afternoon and needed a nap... Perhaps a new reality now that I am a nifty 50.

I was ready for Sunday night though and so excited to sing a full concert. Probably 900 people were there including several hundred from Celebrate Recovery groups in the area... My time with them is proving to be a place for my kind of ministry and music... And "attitude". I am at home with them. I think too that I made many new friends among people younger than I by half.

OK SO THEREs That! bryan d

Nifty Noodles/ Missed A Bomb Or Two

3/21/03 L.A., Ca "Why do I Lie To Myself" is the title of the tenth radio show on Road To Redemption. We finally got it taped yesterday. It's my new favorite show! Opens with blues tune... "every body wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die" done by Larry Howard. It's followed by Darwin Hobbs "where do I turn", bryan d's "Lies upon Lies" and "Yes I will" Phil keaggy's "Z blues" Altogether Separate/ Truth about God and "shout it" by Parachute band. It's a fun show and done with some wry wit.

Left L.A. And drove south down to Irvine Ca. In Orange County (Three hours with traffic) listened to the war coverage on the news. Waiting for "Shock and Awe" like it was a forth of July fireworks segment. The commentators seemed giddy with anticipation. It's a war remember!? "shock and awe"... I thought that was an indian tribe out of the desert southwest! ;) Heard live coverage of "anti war" protests as I drove through L.A.... I'm sorry but most of the people speaking in protest have some really stupid concepts of what is happening in the world.

My mission though was to join singer Jon Gibson and his NEW SOUL PRAISE BAND at an informal jam session at a small hole in the wall. There was quite the assortment of great players sitting in...most you would not recognize by name but I know them as world class musicians. Jon Gibson did tunes from his latest soul worship CD. I've used two of his songs on RTR. That¹s how good that record is!

He had some other guest singers from the local neighborhood that were pretty decent too. I came up and played two of my new songs "I never lied to you" and "only you". They came off flawless if I do say so. It was fun to do a bohemian gig even if I missed a bomb or two on t.v. Hung with some recovery friends and ran into guys fresh out of Orange County Rescue Mission... I'm into that kind of "liberation" myself... It's a war too by the way...

God bless the troops... And forgive the misinformed!

Thanks for letting me share. Bryan d

Nifty Noodles/ Painless

3/15/03 Freeport, Ill Crossroads Church
Had no recollection that this was a benefit for a new local Celebrate Recovery. After perusing the flight schedule I was forming my familiar grimace and bracing for an endurance. I was reasonably happy though and surprised at the full house.

I was in a great mood and the greeting from the locals was wonderful... My mission was to introduce people to Celebrate Recovery...not an easy assignment in the Midwest...Not all who need recovery from dependencies are drug and alcohol familiar...hard to convince folks that their life might be unmanageable... Until there is no way to lie to yourself anymore...Recovery is just a new terminology for dealing with our sinful nature as far as I can see it. But it's effective from my experience in reacquainting me with my defects of character and how best to overcome them.

Dependency is something you do over and over again to avoid pain, loneliness, hunger and or fatigue...alcohol and drugs are the big ones but there is a wave of compulsive behaviors we turn to instead of facing reality and trusting God. Anything can become your focus to where your life becomes unmanageable...

All have sinned and fallen short and I must believe that all of us look to something besides God to fix our problems. Some more than others and many believe they are managing their decisions just fine...

I on the other hand have no such belief. In fact that may be the one thing I believe with all certainty... I'm not managing well!

Turned 50 this week end. It's as old as I've ever been! I don't mind really. But my life doesn't look like anything I would have imagined 30 years ago. It's been a real marble maze from my perspective and the one thing missing the most is my personal conscious contact with God.

I'm starting a new kind of journal from this day forward...strictly letters to God. I will turn my worries and complaints into prayers. I will find strength to be grateful and gracious to others whether I like 'em or not.

It's just another day but then again like no other I have ever seen! It's from the eyes of a man who's seen a half century of turmoil and grief. And yes, caught even "glimpses of the truth"... A scent of something great and grand. And hints of a better reality than I know right now.

Happy B day to me and may God show me the blessings he's already given me in himself.

I exist because he chooses... Bryan d

Nifty Noodles/ Over Again

3/14/03 LAX
Wednesday, I dropped in on Orange County Rescue mission I'm starting to recognize the same guys from a few months ago.

On the way down to OCRM I stopped over at a Calvary Chapel to hear the sound check of a band from New Zealand called the Parachute Band... They do a radically funky and ambitious style of Praise and worship music... I heard a music team at Saddleback Church do one of their tunes a few weeks ago just after I convinced myself to do a redundantly simple worship song. Believing my own songs to be too involved for people to sing along to.

Parachute band does a style that proves that it does not have to be boring to be worship music.. Of course I haven't heard anybody singing along with them yet either. Good folks though and I traded CD's with 'em and hope to use something of theirs on RTR.

Anyway back to the Rescue Mission... I can't believe the honesty in my own story when I'm in this situation. I'm more focused and the less protective of my own reputation. After a lengthy introduction listing my accomplishments... I introduced myself as a liar and a cheat as I looked at my own moral inventory. The songs laid out my story of self lies and my road to redemption.

Among the songs were "Mr Bailey's Daughter" and "yes I will"..."after This day is gone" went over well as well

Thanks for lettin me share... bryand

Nifty Noodles/ The War is On

3/10/03 Monday after Scottsdale, Az & Bedford, In

I forgot for a few months what a war goes on in my mind on the road. Suddenly disconnected from a familiar routine. I'm immediately attacked by fatigue and a seriously bad attitude.

I had agreed to do a gig for free as a benefit to the local radio station in Phoenix and the gig was great. But I had asked for one benefit for coming out that was blown off... I felt disrespected in the giving of my time. "They don't know my worth" I said to myself... "maybe I don't know my worth"... "maybe I've exalted my opinion of my worth". The station plays little of my material these days...

Never the less I loved the gig, surprisingly small considering it had been advertised on the station for weeks. Audience size seems to be tied to your latest single which is a lost cause at this time in my life. I overcame the down time and left the show in a euphoric state.

The next morning started an all day travel schedule to reach Bedford, Indiana, just ten minutes before the "service" was to begin. I was bedraggled and short on focus. So I prayed with the pastor, a great guy by the way and honest in my estimation. But the service was different for me and when I walked out my mind was spinning.

The keyboard didn't work and I spent the first impression minutes fumbling for control that really didn't come. The sound was thin and over my head so the power of the tracks was weak. I could feel the conservative nature of the audience. I struggled to communicate.

"If You pray for me" was three songs in and the first time I felt like I might win here. I worried about the variation in ages of the congregation. Ironically the new song "I never lied to you" went over very well. People were asking for it afterward.

"Just Be honest and let God do his own thing" I thought. If he joined me I'll never know. "I've been like the clean cup on the outside and unclean on the inside, that Jesus talked about with the Pharisees" I told them. I felt suddenly unsafe. Don't know where I planned to go with a comment like that. I just wanted them to know that I was aware of my place in the human race and made no pretence of being spiritual because of my line of work.

I feel like I lost here. I didn't fit the format of "church service" as I saw it coming in. It was over so fast compared to the over abundance of wasted time in Phoenix.

I don't have to "win" at every show I imagine. I don't have to feel great about myself either to continue to walk by faith believing that God loves me and has a plan for my life when I'm just dizzy from the trip.

I read in a book today that "God is more interested in my relationships than in my accomplishments" ... It hit me hard. I know how to "accomplish" but I can't relate very well.

I can only hope I'm doing better than I feel right now.

Thanks for lettin me share... Bryan d

Nifty Noodles/ Antelope Crossing

3/2/03 Sunday Antelope, CA
This was the greatest Saturday night concert I've done in many many months... The P.A. System makes all the difference. I played my new songs all of which sounded wonderful for the first time...I notice the crowd was singing along to "only you" and even including all the harmony parts. I soon discovered the local choir was in the front rows... Well that helps!

North Valley church is three years old. They meet in a school multipurpose room.... I was mentally preparing for something small but this is packed out the doors... 800 some people call this church home. It's modeled after the purpose driven church and they have two services on Sunday morning which I played as well... I did four songs with the choir having them join me on two of my new songs. Great sets! happy happy... Cool beans... Fulfillment! Free at last free at last...

Thanks for letting me share bryand

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