Nifty Noodles/Oh By the way

3/25/06 West Coast Office
Interesting that when you have little to do … you get nothing done and when you’re really busy you can get most things done.

I played a last minute gig on Thursday here in Riverside at a Celebrate Recovery meeting. The Nehosoul Band gig scheduled for Minneapolis evaporated overnight. What’s the problem in Minnesota?

Anyway it was a dead weekend… I spent the day polishing Matilda and riding around the local two lanes. I did have some phone conversations with Phil Curry in Seattle as he is recording back ground vocals with Carl Kelly. I met with Carl down here last week and he’s gonna be singing vocals on Second Chances and if only I … I left them to their work making sure not to micro manage their talents havent’ heard how it went yet.

I also got a tune from Mycle Wastman who did vocals on I love you so… this kat is the best singer I’ve heard in a decade! And yesterday he sent me a half done piece of music with floating vocal idea called “I’m still holding on to you”… it’s gonna replace one of my songs on the project… as he just blew me away. Has elements of “when it comes to love” from the mercy project of years ago. It’ll be one of those soaring vocal ballads I’ve been known for maybe… although I will never sound as good on it as he does on it… Mycle is a white guy folks but he sounds so soulful with a Current pop hip hop quality… he’s downright intimidating to sing with frankly… but you’ll never hear his version if I sing this tune 8)…

Anyway the project is moving along slowly… I sing lead vocals on four songs when I get to Nashville first of April. Cause my plans for to fly Randy Thomas out to California do record here with me fell through because of the expense. The Neho brothers will be doing a concert on Tuesday night and I’ve already got a ticket to be there on the second and I’d planned to fly home sometime thereafter until I learned Thursday of an invitation from Gospel Music Association to serve as a presenter on this years GMA Music Awards show on Wednesday of that week…

See Thursday I was feeling very “left over” and “out of the game”… and then this kind of tip of the hat from an industry that moves along fine without my input comes along.

Don’t know if it means anything in the way of keeping my career going really but it can’t hurt. I’m reminded this week that everyone from football players to fighter pilots practice their skills and spend enormous amounts of time waiting for the chance to show that skill. And that is also the music business. My career has been a series of dots and dashes. Points on the map that don’t connect very well. It’s hard to see yourself as having a validity in your efforts a lot of the time. “Once more into the breach dear friends”…

I heard a comment yesterday that I’ll leave here with you.. “a turtle doesn’t make any progress until he sticks his neck out” … I like that. 8)

OK then so there’s that Bryan D

Nifty Noodles/Anxiety
3/23/06
Some days I wake up in a funk for no apparent reason. Ever been there? There’s usually a song running through my head that highlights the feeling too… don’t know about you. This morning it was an old Carol King tune..”now it’s too late baby now it’s too late… though we really did try to make it… something inside has died and I can’t hide and I just can’t fake it” . A few weeks ago it was a Billy Joel tune “ I don’t care what you say anymore this is my life” member that one?

Sometimes I wonder if the song comes first and leads to the feelings or if the feelings are there and the song recognizes it’s counterpoint! Either way, I have these days… where I can’t seem to find enough enthusiasm to embrace anything positive. Teamwork and recovery and all that talk about community and encouraging one another all seem like desperate attempts to mask a bleak reality.. that time is running out and what difference will it make what I contribute… All effort seems to be like “Chasing the Wind” as Solomon so aptly put it.

This is why I journal my journey in life… cause most of these feelings are almost predictable… I should name and number them cause they’ve gotten so familiar. When my life get’s busy … I get happy and then it slows down and I refuse to slow down with it and appreciate the pauses.

So I’m trying to figure out what’s happening in my life that makes me go here? I met John Townsend yesterday… well known family therapist and author (I’ve read all his books and watched all his tapes). I met him for lunch with some of my other friends down in Newport Beach. “John has the voice of a shepherd” I thought . probably the most calming vocal delivery I’ve ever heard… I’m sure it comes with all the counseling he’s done. So that’s a good thing right? He was very complimentary towards me and my musical endeavors.

Well… how did I feel today?

Truth is even in the friendly atmosphere … I was at a business meeting between “influential parties”…somewhere there was an undercurrent of look what we’ve done and how can we do something bigger. Nothing wrong with that but it was much like those feelings I had when I met with James Robinson about the t.v show I was on. I find myself trying to fit in somewhere on the “party” platform. I left feeling excluded and poorly motivated for “success”… where’s my agenda? Where’s my “portfolio” .

John was not really promoting himself by the way he was very genuine and relaxed. It was my feelings about being around someone who is successful and knowledgeable in areas that I’m not even privy to! It’s why poor people don’t hang out with rich people.

It highlights some uncomfortable realities… “I’m lacking something”. It’s unnerving at your core! Looking at yourself is necessary in the morning… at least comb your hair for crying out loud. But starting the day thinking about what you don’t have is not a recipe for happiness.

I’ve grown weary with the concept of “Bigger is better”. It still seems like the yardstick for making any kind of an impression on others. Why doesn’t Jesus speak up in this environment? Maybe cause in the long run this doesn’t matter much. Influence is power and I think we all want to be a part of that. But I’m not sure I’ve had any control over my own influence. Truth is I can sing my songs but no body has to listen… even Jesus experienced some of that… he didn’t look too successful at the end of his life either! Sure he rose from the dead but he died first! But I think when he said “it is finished”… he wasn’t depressed….

O.K. so thanks for letting me share…. Bryan D

Nifty Noodles/ San Berdo
3/20/06 San Bernardino, CA
The name Judson Baptist church sounds too old a name for what’s happenin here. Keith Whitehouse is the man in charge and they’ve included a morning service strictly for those in recovery complete with a reading of the 12 steps and their biblical comparisons.

Whitehouse’s teaching style and message were amazingly “on time”. Right here in the most unlikely environments there are good things happening. I can’t believe how quietly God taps me on the shoulder to show me some of his real servants… this kind of work rarely hits the media suite. I sung at two services yesterday morning and then did a full concert last night. Met the Whitehouse “Staff pastors” and their wives for lunch and they were as real as everyone else I met here.

Too bad if you weren’t there last night. I pulled out all the stops… played everything I knew on guitar and solo stuff on piano and then did an hours worth of tracks. Why… I don’t know… I was in a great mood. I’ve been busy the last couple of weeks and I like it. And last night was a full house and they were enthusiastic and mostly hadn’t heard of me before so it was fresh all around.

I got another birthday cake backstage too… I should have more birthdays! This one had an amazing picture of my motorcycle on it. “I think I’ll celebrate Matilda’s birthday too” I told someone “ her’s comes up in April!” I met a couple of guys with the same first and last name yesterday having cake… Ron something.. both of em… I signed jokingly to them on the CD’s “to one more ron” hey… they suggested it!

Met a woman in a wheel chair who’d been in a serious accident. After talking and joking with her a little, was told by her friends that the accident was a result of a relapse in her recovery and this was the first time she’d been back to church here since that “failure”.

So I unknowingly affirmed her value to a larger degree than I realized in just “pushing her around” as I said to her. And complimenting her on her hospital clothes… “we should all wear hospital clothes to church” I said.

I know about relapse myself and how demoralizing it can be… you start to think yer just never gonna be any good for anything or anyone. But this woman was astonished when some twenty people from recovery showed up to see her after the accident. I think we all could use that kind of support… recovery or not!!!

San Berdo as we call it locally… is home to Hells Angels national headquarters last I checked and SB has a reputation for being a rough town. Met several members of the Black Sheep (Christian motorcycle club)… and had the opportunity to ride one guy’s Valkerie Rune… it’s an out of this world motorcycle that sounds like a ford truck or a freight train and looks like something from a science fiction movie.. for those of you not aware and probably don’t care but humor me here. it’s a 25 thousand dollar bike without the extra’s and this guy let me get on it and ride around a rainy parking lot. (He prayed over me first 8) ). “It’s like riding a gorilla” I told him.



O.K. so there’s that Bryan Duncan

Nifty Noodles/ A Wonderful Life
3/15/06 San Diego, Cali...
I was home for a day before I left for San Diego to play at Maranatha Chapel... I'm feeling really good lately ... for at least the last week in a row... what a miracle.

I've been working a lot and it seems to renew that sense of purpose that was missing back in February. I called my mom to let her know she could watch my six song set at Maranatha Chapel on line live.. or even after the fact. www.maranathachapel.org of course she couldn't figure out how to run the computer. But those of you who wanna get the details of the show can just go there... no need to even talk about the gig except that it is as regular a gig as I have ever played in my career. I've said before how I seem to recognize everyone here when I come down.

It is relaxed, like everything in San Diego and the presentation is very matter of fact. I was just barely hangin on the notes after singing six times this week. I was treated to an early birthday cake backstage compliments of Maranatha Chapel and Club 4-40 .. the cake was so big I had to go out into the highways and byways and compel them to come eat some of it. I of course took the lion's share home and will feed on it for the next month. Thanks for that. Nancy Romero I believe was the primary instigator of this little surprise and so thank you to you Nancy. Saw many of the familiar faces here and I've never felt more comfortable anywhere in the country.

Tonight was my oldest son's birthday by the way... born one day before my birthday celebrations. So when I packed up I went to Mission Beach, twenty minutes away to give him a hug and a card for his twenty fourth b day. He's a Paramedic/ Firefighter for the city of San Diego. I'm fiercly proud of him. And too of course my youngest son celebrated his twentieth B day last Monday by performing on stage at Disneyland. I rode my motorcycle to his show and got caught in a rainstorm coming home. I was just really late getting home from Brandon's little celebration with his loud College age buddy's. I gave Brandon some money and then of course ask for it back as my birthday is tomorrow 8).

3/16/06 Newport Beach, Cali
I decided to spend the day with my girlfriend at the beach and ignore the bills and the phone calls... never realized that I would get so many calls on my b day and then too the emails awaiting me at home this evening... sorry I wasn't available... I spent a great relaxing day, wandered down the boardwalk like a retired man, shopping a little, had lunch at my favorite beach hang... Rockin' Baja Lobster! Ate too much ... I already had a big breakfast with my friend James this morning.

Really enjoyed Walking the beach next to the waves. It's still cold for California but the sun was out and we stayed to watch it disappear into the ocean before meeting some more friends in Corona on the way back to celebrate another b day. James' wife Judy... born also on the sixteeth of this month.

I've never felt so loved in my life as when I hit 53. I did pick up calls from my sons and brothers and sister and my folks and other relatives. I thank recovery mostly for my ability to feel real love from people like I've never felt. I'm comfortable in my own skin these days... I've lost the need to prove something really. I am truly a lucky man to have been given so much and now the chance to really see what I have because I don't spend as much time looking at what I don't have. I've chosen to be happy is what it's come down to after all the analysis and self help books. God is my friend and I don't have to be sad to make him happy (something I used to believe subconsciously).

I watched the sunset by the Ocean and said good bye to another year and I was happy. I think it's the company I keep and the friends who call just to say hi... I will try to remember how this feels ... so that I can return the favor to those who travel this road with me... thanks for being my friends and believers in the good stuff...

I feel good... better than James Brown..... Bryan Duncan (or as Brandon calls me "Pops")

Nifty Noodles/ BD Rides Again
3/12/06 Ashville, N.C.
Thursday I played in Riverside for Teen Challenge at the “castle”. Friday I played at Celebrate Recovery in Lake Forest at Saddleback. Saturday I flew to North Carolina to sing for Sunday morning services at Biltmore Baptist Church in Ashville and tonight I’ll be back for a full concert at the same place in conjuction with a two year anniversary of their Celebrate Recovery. When the gigs come this fast the stories get shorter! Maybe that’s a good thing. What can I say, they were all good, and I’m feeling like I have a real purpose.

Met my parents and my brother and his family in Ashville Saturday and spent Sunday hanging around with em…haven’t seen my folks in several months. We live on opposite coasts. Mom has been worried about me embarrassing her with my selection of clothing… 8). I haven’t been forgiven for wearing Hole’y jeans on TBN last month on the Christmas special.. I think this is a mom’s job in life… to ride heard on things that don’t matter to you but “They should”. She bought me a new shirt to insure some satisfaction for her in attending the morning services here. Probably a good thing… I live in California and I’m nearly unaware that other places in the country still “Dress up “ for church. Hadn’t crossed my mind in the last few years. Personally it seems like a murderous life… unable to go anywhere if your kids don’t look “Right”. But hey my mom is her own person and she gets to obsess about whatever she wants. 8)

Ashville is in the top five most beautiful places in the country I think. When I realized I had all day Monday to kill I wanted to rent a motorcycle for a day ride on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Tiffany from the church went the extra mile to find some biker enthusiasts at the church (there’s always a few). I tried to rent a bike to no avail from the Harley Dealer and I had resigned myself to “house arrest” at the hotel all day when Tiffany called to give me the good news… “I found some guys that will go riding with you… one of em is gonna let you ride his bike”… I thought o.k. maybe it’s a Honda 50 so don’t get yer hopes up. I arrived at the church to meet my new biker friends, Jim Porter and George Cook. And there sitting in the parking lot was a Heritage Soft tail… a fully dressed Harley Davidson! Blood red… and a Harley Davidson Deluxe two tone blue and white, and of course the Honda but it was a 750 and well built. I got to ride the Heritage. We rode for four hours over the Blue Ridge Parkway on a cloudy day, with perfect temperatures for riding. Stopped at some highlight stopovers and lookouts and had some glorious man conversations between segments. We waved at everybody… North Carolina is good ole boy neighborhood and I mean really friendly. I was nearly in heaven by the time I got back for the show..



Oh yea.. that’s right I have a show tonight. It was absolute icing on the cake too. 1200 people showed up for an hour and a half concert. The longest show for the largest audience I’ve had for a solo show in years! The most amazing thing was the kids that were there… 6 and 13 year olds coming up saying “I really liked your show”… high school kids too… it kinda ran contrary to all I’ve said to myself about who’s gonna like my music and who’s not. I sung a lot more of the ‘Wacky songs” than usual but then I sang almost everything I could still remember…upon returning to the stage for an encore, (that I of course blatantly asked for), one lady was so determined that I play her favorite song that she came forward and knelt at the alter and begged me to play “Love Takes Time” before I quit…wow that’s desperate. What could I do but serve it up as the last song.

I stood corrected about so many misgivings over the last year as a result of this one concert. The people were amazingly warm I was treated to dinner every night by someone. So I kept good company. Met many who attend celebrate recovery… “ if you have family members.. you probably need recovery” I told the crowd that was 100 times larger than the group that attends the recovery meetings. Finished the night at “Shonies” with a few club 440 friends. I met Amanda Bradford there… she was the gregarious waitress and I discovered her birthday was the same as mine… she left me an address to send her a birthday present. I’ll send her a CD.

I will also send some CD’s and some motorcycle doo dads to Jim for letting me ride his Harley and takin pictures of the event. Thanks for that! I took pic’s too but then left my “Throw away camera”… on the sidewalk while I was absorbed in Bike worship.

Don’t know too many guys that’ll let you take their motorcycle for even a spin around the parking lot…”I figured if you had the nerve to ask for a Harley… you must know how to ride one” he said… “I felt good about loaning it to ya”…

I’m glad someone else let’s God speak to em about me now and then 8).

And as far as churches go… you’ve heard that slogan “this is not your fathers oldsmobile”… well Biltmore Baptist ain’t yer father’s Baptist church either…I wish the best for Richard and his wife as they head up the Celebrate Recovery here… you got yer work cut out but you’re the right people to bring it home!

O.K. so I’m goin home victorious! And there’s that little miracle. Bryan Duncan

Nifty Noodles/ Thorns are better than roses
3/4/06 West Coast Office… here’s one I recommend.
When I was in Mississippi I found a new favorite album for the year… it’s “Brother Paul Thorn’s Mission Temple Fireworks Stand on Perpetual Obscurity records!

This cat is a former boxer and he’s a recovering preacher’s kid… all the songs on this record are fantastic fun lyrically for the disillusioned and dismayed and he still finds some gratitude. Favorite cuts from 12 songs. “Everybody Looks Good At the Startin Line”. “Downtown Babylon”…”Even Heroes’ Die” … “Thing’s Left Undone” and “I’m a Lucky Man”…

And finally I gotta quote some lyrics from my favorite song the title track “Mission Temple…”

Paul Thorn sings like Tom Waits meets Sean Mullins…

Saw a black man with a bible and a sparkler in his hand.

He was holding a tent revival and running a fire works stand….

He said the end of the world is comin so you better get on your knees’

Today bottle rockets are two for one but salvation is free

He said I quit my job at a big church where the milk and money flowed

To sell cherry bombs for Jesus in a tent beside the road

Ain’t in it for the money most cars pass on by

But I pay the rent on new years and the forth of july….here at the

Holy Ghost, big bang theory, Pentecostal, fire and brimstone

Mission Temple Fireworks stand

He said fireworks are dangerous they can blow up in your face

So you better read the instructions light the fuse and get away

These things are made in China so it’s easy to see

How a man who worships Buddha ain’t got no guarantee

I’m at the Holy Ghost, big bang theory, Pentecostal, fire and brimstone

Mission Temple Fireworks stand

Bridge:

He said everything I’m sellin is all goin up in smoke

This world is like an atom bomb it’s ready to explode

When the trumpet sounds and the lord comes back I promise you one thing

I’ll be a human bottle rocket and I’ll go out with a bang…

I’ll leave this: Holy Ghost, big bang theory, Pentecostal, fire and brimstone

Mission Temple Fireworks stand

I just had to write these out for you… cause it puts a smile on my face cause I’ve seen it all in religious circles 8)

O.K. so I wish I’d written this one Bryan Duncan

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