Nifty noodles/50 Minutes
5/24/02
Riverside, CA - Friday
Celebrate Recovery
A surprise power song tonight was "Blessed are The Tears" a song inspired by the poems of sexual abuse survivors. I wrote it years ago. I forgot how powerful it is with people who have that background to deal with. At least eight people were in tears as I sung it. I felt like I had touched a painful place unintentionally and I was unprepared for the response. Other highlights we're the new song Jesus Loves Me Anyway and Love Takes Time. Oh and "After this Day Is Gone" triggered a good response.

I must say that in these Recovery events I feel like I'm supporting something bigger in God's overall plan. There is a purpose beyond my benefit that I can see clearly. People are open here in this environment more so than I see in churches. I guess it comes with being more desperate for answers.

I have my own desperate need to know Jesus and his plan for my life as well. I feel like I've fallen back to the days of "Whistlin In The Dark".

Thanks for lettin me share bryan d

Nifty noodles/Teenagers
5/22/02
Riverside, CA - my house!
I stared at my shoes when I talked mostly. A cardinal sin in addressing an audience you know. But I wanted God to speak to these kids and I figured if I was looking at them they would be concerned about fronting their usual "I'm fine and your not" kind of image. I was at my own home and most of them were late to the meeting of Fellowship of Christian Athletes. It's a Riverside Poly high school group. Interesting, 30 years ago, when I was in Sweet Comfort Band, we could never get on this campus to play... Now they're coming to my house. Not a lot of 'em but.... And just because "Christian" is in the title of the club doesn't mean there's a commitment to Christ really. There's always the distractions of others that we enjoy.

I know several years ago the first president of this club invited me to sing for them. His name was Robbie Lennox. 18 years old, Long stringy blond hair. I would see him around town every now and then after he graduated. He was murdered five years later. Shot from behind in his own house. Probably someone he knew. They never found a suspect. But he was clearly hanging with some questionable friends.

I know it's important to take the opportunities God places in front of us to speak. ( or sing in my case)

I played all the "goofy songs". Mr Bailey's daughter, Don't ya wanna Rap, and Yes I Will. But I wanted to say something important about what I've learned. "I know you are looking to find everything in your lives right now" I said. " I have discovered that all relationships with people on this earth are flawed... And there will be great disappointment when it comes to your own need for unconditional love and emotional support." " Everyone will abandon you in some way when it comes to your own needs" "That's why following Christ is so important" I continued, staring at my shoes. "I've written a new song this month that shows how painful it is to lose at relationships when I've tried so hard to perform well enough to earn some respect and love for who I am" "No one can replace the love that only God can provide for you!" I finished. I sang the song. "Jesus sees me as I am... And says I love you anyway" The gig was finished... Then prayer requests and the meeting was over.

Did it sink in at all? I really don't know... I know I've had to hear it over and over myself before I could focus on that truth. Never the less the opportunity for me was there and I took it. My needs for approval were not met in this event. I felt like an awkward kid doing a talk in speech class.

Looking back this morning though there is a satisfaction that I am on the road to a real relationship with Christ and being here brings a contentment that I haven't found anywhere else.

Thanks for lettin me share.... Bryan d

Nifty noodles/Java The Hut
5/18/02
Vienna, VA
Jammin' Java'
This was once a great little venue. Now under new management, it brings in a different clientele. "Bone a Rama" was playing soon I noticed... Pretty sure it's not a Christian gig! The new management was completely indifferent to us. No help setting up either.

I don't think my crowd buys enough alcohol. (sarcasm there o.k.? ) They're sellin more than coffee these days. I had a contingent of a church choir sitting in the crowd at the first show. Boy it made the sing along parts jump.

Second show was a pretty small turn out. But I gave 'em all I could. The java place was "cleaning up" (to close) by 11: P.M. So I felt alittle rushed to wrap it up. So much for this gig. We won't be doing this gig in the future. Long live Seekers Coffee houses. So long to Jammin Java !

We'll be lookiin for a new way to come out to the east coast. I still love the layed back atmosphere of a coffee house but alas we need more than a handful of audience to make it work. I'd love to start a coffee house in my own area where I could just drop in on a day off and try out a few songs.

Let's pray.

Thanks for lettin me share... Bryan d

Nifty noodles/Volunteer Work
5/17/02
Riva, MD
Celebrate Recovery
I told the leader of this new effort in Recovery ministry I'd come out for a little time of "testimony" and sing some stuff. It was a little group too. About thirty folks. Very mellow. Terrible sound system, and I was struggling to find my brains after the long trip from LAX and the 40 minute drive to Riva from Baltimore. I took some time to share personally with one of the guys that picked us up at the airport.

I wasn't feeling very safe about speaking to a group of people I didn't know about my particular struggles with addiction. But more and more I'm wanting to address people in real ministry situations. I've always felt a need to hide the truth even as I try to be honest on stage. Using humor has made it easier to by pass people who don't get what I'm talking about. I don't want to put people in a situation they're not ready for either.

I kept the night pretty basic talking about "failure" rather than particulars. It's always about avoiding pain and not trusting God with you life! EVERYBODY CAN UNDERSTAND THAT!

The night didn¹t' feel completely fulfilling to me but I can't trust my feelings anymore. They lie to me a lot. "Have you ever been lied to?"

The reason for doing this gig? Mainly to test the waters next to the boat I'm in... See if I'm gonna sink or stroll in the next decade of my life. I want to do new things... It's about time!

Thanks for lettin me share bryan d

Nifty noodles/Gong Show
5/16/02
Lake Forest, CA
Saddleback/ Pastors conference on Purpose driven church It was like the gong show... They had a circus of performers at this event. 3600 people in attendance.

Man, there was John Tesh, and Jon Gibson, (remember him? He's a white 'Stevie Wonder') they had a thirteen year old violin player doing country music, a quartet gospel group called the Crimson River Quartet, they had the patriotic stuff with a show of local police and the "Star Spangled Banner". They had a couple guys playing Sitar from India... There was more stuff too by the local two hundred voice choir and an orchestra and a fifteen piece horn section and full live band. They did Black Gospel (in a white sort of way) and they did praise and worship in the typical way too.

I eventually came on around 10:P.M. Sang "Maybe I'm Amazed" and "I'd like to Thank You Jesus" utilizing all two hundred and fifty people on stage including three other lead singers.

I told 'em I felt like the hood ornament on the Pontiac! I was surprised at the recognition factor when I was announced. I told em all that I was still working if they were interested. "the back up group here will come too for a nominal fee" I finished. I talked to John Tesh outside, have to admit that he is a humble guy just doin his thing. I didn't want to like him but hey... Not everybody can play funk and soul. ... And that's .... O. K. !

The real key thing here on this gig is that I was quick to acknowledge the people around me. Thanking them from the stage. People who are doing the real work of putting this show together and making it work. I've got the easier job.

Acknowledging others has not always been at the forefront of my mind, being the self centered egotistic lunatic that I have always been. I'm grateful God's grace can sink in once and a while.

Thanks for lettin me share! bryan d

Nifty noodles/Not The Same
5/13/02
Monday/ Riverside, CA
Sang to my mother in law at a church 5 minutes from my house. Other mothers were there too. I gave my set list to my mom over the phone she said she'd listen to the songs on CD. So there's that.

I was talking to God this morning, he said to say hi by the way... He was pointing out to me that My strengths were fine but that he was primarily interested in my weakness. "that's great" I told him "but personally, I don't enjoy that as much". I feel as though I've been "pulled from the starting line up" if you know what I mean. The gigs lately have been humbling.

Helen, a large white woman in her late sixties was the keyboardist at the church I played in...looked like your typical church lady, filling the background for a special prayer for mothers. But she was playing Chords that carried way heavy Jazz and big band influence. I was mesmerized! she had the stuff. Turns out she'd had her own Jazz trio in years past and played the club circuit. Man she was good. Made my stuff sound like chopsticks. No one else seemed to notice. So this is what happens to sixty year old professional musicians.

Anyways... I'm grateful for the time to reconsider my relationship with Jesus. The future is a new one. From today forward the world is not the same. So lets act like it's true. 'cause if ya do the same things you get the same results....

Thanks for lettin me share! bryan d

Nifty noodles/Meet The People
5/5/02
Sunday
Tracy, CA ... New Hope, a one year old church that meets in a school multi purpose room. This is classic gorilla gospel. Out reach to the middle class. Pastor here was as restless as I am with the status quo. I've Nothing much to say about the six songs I played. I met a woman and her husband before the service. Her name too was Tracy. She was bubbling over about the fact that after thirty some years she found her Biological father and he and her biological mother signed her birth certificate this year making her "legitimate" as she put it. I'm always amazed at the power that parents have even if they are doing nothing. I brought her to tears as we spoke after the service. I was quoting the lines of a new song "I love you anyway". I am amazed at how people respond to the simple love of Jesus no matter how un-poetic it might be.

Another woman came up to me with a 14 year old daughter. "fourteen years ago we both almost died during her birth" she said. I wanted you to meet her. "as I was hemorrhaging I couldn't think of a single scripture... So I started singing 'whistlin' in the dark'... It got me through a near death experience" "God is good" I said.

These are my rewards of service! It's better than I could imagine. To have been a contributor to someone else's faith in God is a blessing that I've taken for granted. Forgive me Lord for being so self centered for so long.

I flew home quietly and drove home from LAX in silence alone. It's hard to imagine that I have made a contribution. My life daily seems so removed from everything.

But where else would I get a song called "Jesus Loves me anyway".

I'm bryan d thanks for lettin me share.

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