Nifty Noodles/ sad and silly
The next day 12/1/02 Saturday Middleburg Heights, Ohio (Cleveland) Seekers suddenly seems substantially small, sighting the size of Seekers second store. Still this was the outstanding night! First show seemed alittle sleepy but something happened during the second show... It was me... I got to feeling really loose. I gave up trying to put on a new face and just did what I do... Starting by goofing around with my new piece of music, just the piano and singing ... "I don't have any words for this tune... No there aren't any words for this music" yea, It might have been a highlight. From there I just felt so free! for lack of a better explanation. No pressure! and all of a sudden a heavenly light came on... I felt redeemed and passionate and silly and full of real life with it's highs and lows. I felt the sadness of some songs and the lightness of others... The crowd was just trying to keep up. Both sets were a mix of Christmas and regular concert tunes and went longer than I planned cause I was having fun. I won't be back for at least a year. Don't wanna wear out the welcome.

There's That bryan d

Nifty Noodles/ Dyer Straights
11/29/02 Seekers Coffee House/ Dyer, In
Doesn't look like a town from here. It's a suburb of Chicago... Well they're gonna build houses here eventually. Mostly all I see are empty cornfields and a couple of Mega Gas Stations. Seekers here is so clean it almost doesn't qualify for a coffee house as I know it. It rivals the Upper Room in Redlands in furniture and floor space. Seats 150 around tables in the main concert room. Outside there's residual snow and clear skies... It's colder than a well diggers wallet! I have on one of those Southern California leather jackets... Absolutely worthless in Chicago. They were playing some real goofy Christmas material when we walked in... Fortunately I brought some Charles Brown blues for preliminary music. My introduction was pretty lame... I knew quickly the staff here had never heard of me. First show the lights were up like it was a library, could account for the uncomfortable set in which I did a slow motion cart wheel off the side of the stage nearly knocking the light tree over... Just didn't realize there was a step down. Wow that was stupid. The Latte's were free though and the second show filled up. (cause we let folks stay over from the first show) It was cool cause we left the tables out to sit around... I liked the vibe. Not sure this place will survive the next year. As far as my effort.. It was "no you won't yes I will" all night. I want so much to look "new and improved" spiritually, but truth I still need more grace than most I think. Spiritual focus felt forced. I'm still that same sarcastic, smart mouth, dissident I've always been even after some prayer.

I have this wrong thinking that somehow being truly spiritual is a feeling you can count on... and sets one above others in some kind of "I'm really special" scenario... Which with some thought is obviously absurd. Never the less I wanted to be "really special" and what I did was do a cartwheel off the side of the stage!

I'm bryan d Thanks for lettin me share.

Nifty Noodles/ Humble Pie
11/25/02 Sacramento/ Garden Grove, CA
Fair Oaks, Ca Nov 23 & 24 I was surprised... Saturday night was a "just me" concert. Full show no opening acts, no sermons or other agendas... I'm not sure how to handle that anymore. Full house too! one man foot the bill for the concert cause my songs mean that much to him... Met several who were in recovery from alcohol who appreciated my music input. One man said through his early recovery when his craving for drugs would hit him hard he would drive around in his truck and listen to my songs..." they got me through some hard days" he finished drug free now for five years! There is a great reward in that for me. I too drive around in circles on some days not knowing how to cope with my "craving" to separate myself from God's will to "die to my self" and avoid painful realities of my sinful nature. What the sinful nature wants and what the Holy Spirit wants are constantly in conflict and my choices are never free from this struggle... It's says so in Galatians! Don't remember what chapter off hand but I read it every week.

I was so calm before this concert that I thought perhaps someone slipped some Prozac in my coffee. The crowd was of an age assortment that left me unsettled in my song selection. The show was happier than I was.

I played again for the morning service and then flew back to southern California to play a full concert at a Friends church at night. Quakers! imagine that! They asked me to come play for them... I was honored. I got a free thanksgiving dinner to boot.

I test drove the pastors Mini Cooper before the concert... Wow I could own one of these. Not quite as fast as my speedster but handles better. I was depressed through the show... An attack of the "your nothing specials". Really struggling with my self image. I stayed behind the piano most of the night. Feeling unfit to be on stage. They shouldn't put mirrors back stage or maybe they should... It's humbling.

I finished with a couple of Christmas tunes... Man I'm gonna have my hands full hitting the high notes this year.. Vocally I'm out of shape from lack of vocal exercise which I don't do without full concerts and this year has been the slowest on record.

Still trying to get a fix on songwriting direction. May have to find a way to record a simpler project that focuses on melodies over production value. I know what is said could compensate somewhat for what is played but I would sure miss the musical aspect I think. I'm not trying to "settle" for less here. I'm just trying to find a fresh way to make an impact.

My writing the noodles and journaling are removing the need to write songs to exercise "demons"... So maybe the songs could be directed toward being grateful or addressing "redemption". Growth is slow no matter what and I am not a patient man.

I'm bryan d ...Thanks for lettin me share!

Nifty Noodles/ Did I say Nazarenes

Mt of Olives in Mission Viejo is a Lutheran church! I get Lutheran's and Nazarenes mixed up. I grew up Pentecostal Assemblies of God...so anything to the liturgical side of that is a big blur... All I know is they don't do back flips!

So kindly re read the Nov 17 entry with the proper adjustment.

OKC ya bryan d

Nifty Noodles/ Subin'

11/17/02 Mission Viejo, Ca Played three Sunday services for the Nazarenes in Mission Viejo, Ca. It was two day notice. Their Guest musician got sick and one of the pastors had seen me recently at Saddleback Church... So he called... I was around and a trip down the coast in my Little 356 Speedster isn't really like working... Except that I had to jump start the car every time I shut the motor off.

The gig felt like talking in the library really but the folks were nice and I got this really cool basket of goodies as a gift for helpin out.

Oh by the way... I just put together the music and wrote the script for "my kind of Christmas" on the road to Redemption... I had more favorites than I could put on the 30 minute program but the show will feature...

Mark Baldwin's Christmas Blues (Merry Christmas from Jail), Charles Brown/ Christmas comes but once a year, Take Six/ Silent Night, Vince Guaraldi/ Oh Tananbaum & Christmas Time is Here (from Charlie Brown's Christmas special), Amy Grant/ I'll Be Home For Christmas Bryan Duncan/ unreleased Silent Night (blues version) Michael McDonald/ I'm Dreaming of A White Christmas

I wanted to include My version of Please Come Home for Christmas Russ Taff/ What a Wonderful World Crystal Lewis/ Joy to The World But I had to balance the music with my commentary which is minimal but necessary to be consistent with the Redemption Theme.

I love doing this kind of radio show... When I was a kid, I used to imagine talking on the radio.. But then I found out you didn't get to play the music you preferred in the real business. I'm doing much of what I love these days... And there's no politics to it. Amazing, there's so much freedom in this that I don't know where to draw the lines... I could say anything and play anything I like... No pressure and yet I feel imaginary pressure to please someone who might be interested.

I'm Bryan d thanks for lettin me share

Nifty Noodles/ surprise surprise
11/10/02 Sunday
What I call a legitimate gig has been rapidly disappearing the last few months, Replaced by a hand full of songs at church services... I came in last night wondering if I am "beating a dead horse" with my career. Seriously questioning where God is going with me.

The surprise came when the connection at this little church was overwhelming! There were Men in the audience weeping as I sang "if you pray for me". I had no real agenda and yet the message of Grace and redemption went forth in a surprisingly powerful way... I'm not creating this ya know. I'm lost and broken and God steps in to my weakness and shows himself in a way I find hard to believe after all these years.

Funny stories came to mind from no where about how people notice our "defects of character" before we do. Like asking a kid if he's touched the wet paint... When he's covered head to toe and he still says... No! Our sins are obvious to God and usually to the people we know. The whole time we're thinking "I'm looking pretty good", and suddenly it dawns on you that "the Emperor has no clothes".

I think my life is better now than it has ever been and yet on paper I have to look like a man of no reputation the last few years. My circumstances don't represent me very well.

Thanks for lettin me share... Bryan d

Nifty Noodles/ Radio 6

11/7/02
Spent Wednesday at Sound Foundations in Eagle Rock putting together the sixth Road To Redemption program... Kinda glad RTR didn't go on the air weekly... I'd never have the shows done in time... Finding the right songs has been more trouble than I expected... But when I sit down determined to find the songs... They show up right on time.

I've discovered I don¹t like most of my own songs even though I continue to find the right material lyrically among my records... They're not my favorite tunes!

I found the perfect song by a gospel group called the Canton Spirituals... "gonna clean up what I messed up". I opened the show with it. Show six is about making amends and offering forgiveness... It's actually three of the 12 steps but I'm focusing on the eight principals of recovery written by Rick Warren... Because I don't go into all the specifics of a step study on the show... It's just encouragement to do the work.

Went in this week thinking I was pretty prepared... But the show was something of a grind for the first time... The songs ended without music to tie to so I could speak over the trailing end of tunes... We had to improvise with music at hand...

I haven't heard the final layout as David Rowe, my co producer is putting finishing touches to it... But it's Jazzier than previous shows... But hey... Variety doesn't hurt... I just wanna be able to enjoy listening to them myself... And the music is important to hold my attention...

I used Ashley Cleveland again, and Phil Keaggy for the first time ( his songs are mostly too happy for recovery material) I played "don't look away" and " all is forgiven" from my own projects.

We were short by almost a minute... Had trouble stretching the show. I don't have as much insight personally on making amends... ( what does that say?)

Next week I'll start work on "my kind of Christmas" (still in the format of RTR) It'll give me an idea of how the show might work beyond the steps in recovery.

I listen to more music than I ever have these days... I like very little of it and it's left me uninspired for new material of my own... I worry about what I'm gonna do for music to record in the future... I need to find something fresh to me.

I noted too that I'm growing tired on the show of my own voice. I'm afraid of it sounding too much like a Sunday school lesson... Maintaning passion is the key and my mind was missing... Took me two and a half hours to get home through L.A. Traffic now that it's dark by five p.m.

O.K. So there's that bryan d

Nifty Noodles/ Have a Heart
11/1/02 Friday Night
Riverside, CA Celebrate Recovery
Broke the attendance record for CR here yesterday... Lot's of kids from safe houses came. They were the mean looking ones to my right who mostly glared at me through my 8 songs... I played some Hip songs too! (to my standards) and they seemed unmoved. What song did they respond to? "Jesus Loves me Anyway" afterward they were all out there talkin to me like it was the greatest concert they'd ever seen. Probably the only concert they'd ever seen... All were under 15 years of age. Unwanted kids for one reason or another... It felt good to hug them. Even the tough guys didn't seem to mind a hug from a man...( that would be me).

I was fulfilled in many ways... I'm working on music again... It's been a long time since I sat at a piano on a regular basis and looked for new connections. At sound check I ran a few of my experimental chord beds and improvised vocally with them. They sound promising. I was encouraged.

I played "have a heart" by Bonnie Raitt at sound check someone thought I'd written it. Her songs do fit my "vibe". Except my favorite Bonnie songs are all sad. When I played my songs during the program they all seemed so "buoyant" and hopeful. I can feel my place in the world. I know it's right... What I'm doing these days... I don't know how it applies to "this sinful world as it is" especially in view of CCM.

It's amazing what a conflict of interest "ministry" can become. When we have a "target audience" to minister to based on their ability to pay. I've seen it in Christian Radio and Christian concerts and Christian Church. Sure is convenient when we can make huge money and call it a ministry as well. But I digress and that is an uncomfortable thought.

I've been taking a moral inventory of my life the last couple of weeks and I'm stupefied by my own incongruity. When I pray I have a picture of how God should answer... And then I'm disappointed.

Kind of like a kid who'd rather have candy than a gift that he can use for years to come. God keeps reminding me that I'm missing it. He wants a relationship with me and I just wanna do stuff!!!!

Thanks for lettin me share bryan d

P.S. I finished writing radio rehab show #6 on the "road to redemption" It's about making amends... I call it "finding time to refine my alignment" Haven't recorded it yet but I'll be in the studio this next week.

Oh... One more thing Berean Christian Stores is using "clap your hands" from Joyride for a national campaign... If you clap your hands or just say "clap your hands" when you come in you get 10% off any purchase in the store and I think 50% OFF ANY OF MY RECORDS I'm not sure about that % but I think maybe they're trying to "blow out all those dusty Bryan d records!!!

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